What's on my mind...

11.28.2009

There's an awful lot on my mind, it being Christmas break and all...it kinda sucks, actually. First off, coming home was great. It really was. It was spectacular that we were gonna have close to a hundred people over for Thanksgiving. But starting "break" by running errands, driving my siblings around, and cleaning the house was not what I had in mind. Be that as it may, God was able to use me in spite of myself and people had a wonderful time, including myself.

Over the past week, and tonight, God's put on my heart several things to pray about, and I would really appreciate prayer from all my friends as well. At school, I've been surrounded by Godly men and women, I've gone to an awesome church where God's word is taught in a way that I have to think through and digest and can grow from, and I have grown. I've been given not just meat, but awesome, expensive, top cut steak. Going back to my old church just isn't cutting it. It's like the difference between that steak and a cheeseburger. Sure, it's meat - but the quality and content just isn't the same. Over the past year I've become discontent at my church. I thought it was me, that I was missing something, that my heart was closed because of an issue in my life. I've found out that it's not me, it's my church, and it's not just me who's noticed, but several of my friends feel the same way.

All that to say, I'm praying about switching churches. Tomorrow I'm gonna go back to my old church and see where they are at. I'm gonna spend the day hanging out with my best friend and brother in Christ. We'll talk and pray together.

Tonight I started talking with my mom about a lot of things concerning school. I'll just mention a couple things here. First we talked about how I need a job, and about how my boss forgot to put me on the schedule next week. Oops. I could really use the money - I'm broke and have no clothes (seriously...only 3 pairs of pants total), but I know that God will give me all that I need and I am content with that. We talked about opportunities that I could take advantage of, including journalism opportunities - freelance writing etc. Which brought up another topic...why I want to be in Criminal Justice. And I don't know anymore.

I wanted to be in Law Enforcement. I don't remember why. I had reasons. I thought that was where God wanted me. Now I don't know. I'm praying for, and asking others to pray for me as well, wisdom as to whether I should switch my major. I could switch to Journalism and then a double in English, or in English and then a double in Journalism. Or whatever God wants. I just don't know anymore. I believe that God wants me to be on Staff at Verity after I graduate. I also believe that He wants me to be in ministry after I graduate, and while I'm in school. I know He has plans for me, but right now I don't know what to do.

Pray for me. Pray for my parents. We need wisdom, direction, and guidance. I have physical needs, things that I really do need. Pray for God's provision in whatever form it takes. But, most of all, pray that my heart would be pure before the Lord, that I would praise and worship Him always, and that I would be given blessings that I may bless others.