[Amani Salvadori]

4.27.2010

When the fires in my life are raging,
When they are too big for me to control,
     Where should I go?
     Where should I look?
     What should I do?

If I'm trusting in myself, I'm lost,
If I'm thinking I can handle it, I lie,
     Where should I go?
     Where should I look?
     What should I do?

God, what can I do? I'm so pathetic.
I'm lost on my own, only You can save me.
     I'm coming to You.
     I'm looking to You.
     I'm doing Your will.

You have put out all the fires in my stead,
You sent Your Son, to pay the cost - covered me.
     I'm safe with You.
     I'm free with You.
     I'm secure in You.

God I don't want to be stupid, really...
From now on, I'm just gonna do Your will.

Heart Cry

4.22.2010

Heavenly Father, Almighty God
Holy Spirit, Dwell in me
Christ Jesus, come quickly

Heavenly Father, Powerful Maker
Holy Spirit, fill my life
Come quickly, Christ Jesus

Heavenly Father, God Most High
Holy Spirit, live in me
Christ Jesus, come quickly

I want to see you ride, Holy Christ
My Savior, the Living God
Come quickly, Risen King

You are coming again, Bright and Glorious
Savior of the World, Groom to the Bride
Risen King, come quickly

One day I will see Your face
Savior of my soul, Great Judge
Come quickly, Risen King

He is coming for His Bride, the Church
I am one of His sons, His child
Son of God, care for me

One of His chosen, called His by name
I speak the truth, proclaim it to the world
Care for me, Son of God

No matter what comes, I look ahead
Looking forward to Christ's return, that Holy day
Son of God, care for me

For now I will wait, I will be content
With where I am, with what God wants
Lamb of God, lead me

I will follow His will, work for His glory
Moment by moment seeking, acting in God's will
Lead me, Lamb of God

Christ before, behind, and all around me
I fear no evil, because He is with me
Lamb of God, lead me

Come quickly Christ Jesus, Savior, Messiah
My life is His, it's Christ's alone
In Faith alone, will I live

Lamb of God, Prince of Peace, Almighty Judge
Take my life, as an instrument of Your will
I will live by Grace alone

Almighty God, Maker of Heaven, Creator of Earth
Nothing and no one else satisfies my soul
Because of Christ alone, will I live.

Freaked Out - Restored

4.20.2010

Woke up one morning, in a cold sweat
Heart racing, blood pumping, I was
Totally freaked out. At what I had
Seen, 'cuz it was me, but doing things
And living a life I thought was over.

My God saved me - this I know
Took my sins, and washed me white as snow
I no longer live that life, My God
He saved my life, I don't need to
Freak out - I'm just gonna have some Jesus time.

That's what I like about God's Word
His Word heals, restores, brings peace to me
There are green pastures there, He leads me to
Still waters, He makes my soul feel new
Psalm 23 - read it man. It's good.

Spirit to Spirit...

So lately I've been writing song lyrics/poetry, whatever you like to call it. It's been really cool to me to see how God gives me these things to write down. I'm going to start sharing some of it on here.

Who leads me by still waters,
    restores my soul?
He who created me, breathed me,
    made me whole.
The Lord God Almighty,
    why should He -
Creator-God, Majestic,
    untethered, free -
Bind Himself to be like me,
    born as a man?
Taking on body and flesh,
    child of a woman.
Eternal Father, watching Son on Earth
    grow, with love.
Into a man, strong, powerful -
    Father sent a dove
To declare the Man, Jesus,
    His only Son.
Baptized in water, now sweating blood,
    "Thy will be done"
Jesus prayed, as in Gethsemane,
    He sweated in agony.
The priests came, the soldiers too,
    hung Him on that tree.
Son of God, He is my love,
    Who died in love for me.
One day I'll see Him again
    He is coming to see
The outcome of His Sacrifice of love
    His blood poured out
            On me.

Randomishness Stuff

4.17.2010

Today has really been just an off day. I've felt like crap due to allergies/being a little sick, I'm exhausted, I've been spiritually attacked all day, and it's just been a pretty draining day. Looking back on why it's been so hard today, I've realized that a large part of it, probably the greatest part of my problem, is that for the past few days I haven't been seeking God. I've been praying, but I haven't been seeking Him. I've slacked off in my Bible reading, and I've been just coasting "on my reserves." That's a really bad place to be. I'm rather fed up with myself because of it. Because I haven't been seeking Christ diligently, I've been weak and succumbed to spiritual attack. I've repented and renounced my sin before God, and I'm not going to go down that path again, but I'm fed up with who I am.

My prayer is that God would change me. I've been coasting in between lessons for a little while now, and I need God to teach me again. I've been learning from Him, but I need Him to change my life yet again, for His glory and my good. I know it will be hard, but that's what I need.

On a slightly different note, I'm just going to put out my ideas about church briefly. First, I believe that the church is the body of believers in the Lord Jesus Christ. It's not about the building, the denomination, or set of doctrine that any group believes in. It's the body of believers around the world that all claim the risen Christ as Savior. I also believe that the act of going to church is for the purpose of fellowship with the church - fellowship with other believers. A belief that follows from this is my belief that church can happen anywhere that a group of believers gathers. Fellowship between believers constitutes church. I believe that teaching is good, but that is not the point of church. The main point of church is for believers to come together in Christian fellowship and in worship and praise of our God.

I don't know if I will ever be a part of a church where everybody believes what I do. I doubt it. I know that someday I will probably have to settle in one church that I mostly agree with, but I think that it is a sad thing that the church is so split today. Denominations may serve some purpose, but personally, I think that God doesn't like them. The church is His bride that He is coming to claim soon, and if all of these different denominations are quarreling and arguing over differing beliefs, how does that show unity? There is only one bride, not many.

There are so many things that I am pondering...good things, but hard things. Maybe I'm being a little pessimistic here, but I almost feel as if things have been going to smoothly and too easily for too long. I just know something is gonna happen soon...I just pray that it would be something that God will teach me through, and that He would give me the grace to learn what He has for me to learn.

I love all of you so much...I miss my friends back home, but I'm also going to miss everybody here at school when you all leave this summer. I'm praying for all of you.

He is Risen!

4.04.2010

He is risen indeed! I'm still up in Michigan at the Knudsen's, but yesterday I felt that God wanted me to just stay here and not go to church this morning. So instead of going to church with everyone, I just stayed here, read the Psalms and Proverb of the day, went on a walk, read through the resurrection accounts in the Gospels, and continued reading in Revelation. Spent some time in pray and just listening to God. It was good. I think that doing something like this is a big thing that I missed at the beginning of last semester - I didn't go into the semester having sought God, and just spent some time alone with Him, seeking Him.

I'm really looking forward to this summer. I mean, this next semester is going to be really cool - God has given me a lot of motivation and excitement for what He is going to teach me, and just for my studies, but when I look forward to working on the movie this summer, I am filled with joy. I finally am sure that it is what God is wanting me to do, and I am content with the fact that I probably won't be going back to school for the summer semester.

In regards to going back to school in August: I've been praying about finances and God providing for that for awhile, but today I just asked God to speak to me. He did, and gave me peace about not worrying about it. He didn't say that I would be going back - in fact I don't think that I will be going back - but I know that He wants me to work on this film, and not worry about finances. I love the feeling that accompanies being in God's will - I truly "taste and see that the Lord is good."

God bless all of you this Easter!

It's been awhile...

4.01.2010

Looking back over the past year, I can see how God has taught me and brought me through so much. It's crazy and insane to even consider how much I (or rather God) has done, what I've experienced, the joy and pain I've gone through, but I know that it has happened, and that by God's grace, I've come through, and I am a stronger Christian and a better follower of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. The past year has been a roller coaster, in more ways than just one or two.
Just a few more days than a year ago,  I went through a pretty bad breakup. I spent a few months bouncing around, getting into some stuff that I shouldn't have, creating a lot of emotional ties that would come back to bite me later. After a few months, I though I was over it. I wasn't, but I spent the rest of the summer and early fall proving to myself and everyone else that I was okay - pretty much by hanging out and having a blast with my friends all the time.

God used the Singles WIT Conference in September to begin the process of breaking the walls and facades of who I was pretending to be, and stripping away the habits and attitudes that I had taken on. I'd become a very emotionally driven, dependent, proud, selfish, rebellious, love-hungry person. I was trying to fulfill these things through other people - mainly girls - and God was using different things to teach me what I was, first, truly looking for, and second, how to find it.

At the WIT Conference, God started to break me. There was a lot of bitterness that I had stored up, and He took it away during those four days. I finally finished and submitted my application for Verity, and just 3 weeks later, I started orientation. I was intending to be a distance student - now, I have a hard time imagining what it would be like at home. God told me that I needed to be on campus, so my parents decided that I would be on campus. We are just trusting God for the money as it comes, and it's awesome. We have nothing for next year, but He has provided for this year and I am confident that He will continue to do so for wherever he wants me.

During the past two semesters at school, I have learned more from God than I have actual school or "head knowledge" - I really don't think that is a bad thing. I've had some big lessons to learn, and I've been grateful for the people that God has put in my life right now to teach me those things. On a little bit of a side note, I think that God is giving me a small break, to study some things in Scripture that I've wanted to study for awhile, but that I haven't had time to do.

An overarching theme of the whole last year is God's grace and justice. It has been really cool to see how God doesn't let me get away with anything, but He also gives me the grace to learn from my mistakes and to change my heart.

God is awesome.