4.17.2010
Today has really been just an off day. I've felt like crap due to allergies/being a little sick, I'm exhausted, I've been spiritually attacked all day, and it's just been a pretty draining day. Looking back on why it's been so hard today, I've realized that a large part of it, probably the greatest part of my problem, is that for the past few days I haven't been seeking God. I've been praying, but I haven't been seeking Him. I've slacked off in my Bible reading, and I've been just coasting "on my reserves." That's a really bad place to be. I'm rather fed up with myself because of it. Because I haven't been seeking Christ diligently, I've been weak and succumbed to spiritual attack. I've repented and renounced my sin before God, and I'm not going to go down that path again, but I'm fed up with who I am.
My prayer is that God would change me. I've been coasting in between lessons for a little while now, and I need God to teach me again. I've been learning from Him, but I need Him to change my life yet again, for His glory and my good. I know it will be hard, but that's what I need.
On a slightly different note, I'm just going to put out my ideas about church briefly. First, I believe that the church is the body of believers in the Lord Jesus Christ. It's not about the building, the denomination, or set of doctrine that any group believes in. It's the body of believers around the world that all claim the risen Christ as Savior. I also believe that the act of going to church is for the purpose of fellowship with the church - fellowship with other believers. A belief that follows from this is my belief that church can happen anywhere that a group of believers gathers. Fellowship between believers constitutes church. I believe that teaching is good, but that is not the point of church. The main point of church is for believers to come together in Christian fellowship and in worship and praise of our God.
I don't know if I will ever be a part of a church where everybody believes what I do. I doubt it. I know that someday I will probably have to settle in one church that I mostly agree with, but I think that it is a sad thing that the church is so split today. Denominations may serve some purpose, but personally, I think that God doesn't like them. The church is His bride that He is coming to claim soon, and if all of these different denominations are quarreling and arguing over differing beliefs, how does that show unity? There is only one bride, not many.
There are so many things that I am pondering...good things, but hard things. Maybe I'm being a little pessimistic here, but I almost feel as if things have been going to smoothly and too easily for too long. I just know something is gonna happen soon...I just pray that it would be something that God will teach me through, and that He would give me the grace to learn what He has for me to learn.
I love all of you so much...I miss my friends back home, but I'm also going to miss everybody here at school when you all leave this summer. I'm praying for all of you.
3 comments:
prayin for you, man! Keep being open to God and I know He's doing awesome things in your heart and life!
Sorry to hear that you're struggling with allergies too. I can just about count on at least two attacks everyday, plus some. Not fun....but it won't last too much longer! Hope you feel better soon. :D
I agree with you that church is there for fellowship. (Encouragement, exhortation, sharing of spiritual gifts...etc) but part of that IS teaching. God has given certain members of the body the gift of teaching (or preaching or w/e you want to call it) and the church is one of the main places they use that.
Yes, I agree that the "church" is any body of believers gathered together. But I think that it's important to have *A* specific church that you go to consistently...where you are challenged by the word of God (via preaching/teaching along with the fellowship). I can't tell you how much of a difference it makes in your life when you *don't* have that. I've had all the fellowship and such in the past 4-5 months but besides Bible studies, I've had no preaching/teaching...and there is a large emptiness within me. I'll repeat that it *does* make a big difference.
Also, I do agree that you'll never find a church where you agree with everything that is taught. (the "perfect church") It simply doesn't exsist! But that is the beauty of things. You've got so many believers who, because they share the same views in many areas, will lay aside other differences in order to worship together. I know you know that. It's just something that I've had to clarify with so many people when they wonder why we aren't, at this moment, part of a church. *sigh*
okay. I'm done ranting. I miss you, am praying for you and hope that among other things, you can experience the joy of the Lord!! It's powerful:)
I'm gonna miss you too, man. A lot. But remember that we all have felt as if something big is going to happen soon. I have no idea when, but I think that all of us as a class are going to go through something crazy awesome big one day. And maybe that applies to all Christians, who knows? But maybe it's just us.
Thank you for the post. It encourages me to not slack off either. We all have to stay strong.
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