cityboy319

Light Follower

2010-09-07T10:05:00.003-04:00

Though I fall again and again
You grant me mercy over and over
Every time I displease You I'm in pain
Why is it so hard to find freedom?

God Almighty You gave me a glimpse
One summer of freedom, six weeks
Where I lived freely, in bliss
Why can I not find that freedom now?

The taste of true love, the way it felt
Lingers in my mind, making it hard
To concentrate on the present, it's a welt
Sore and red across my face -- hurting.

Why show love and freedom to me
If I cannot have it again?
You have given me the desire to be
Free and full of life and love.

God Almighty, blessed be Your Name
Your love for me is everlasting, eternal
Your mind never changes and Your Fame
Goes out before all peoples and nations.

Your mind, Your will, never stray
But I can't always see them, so please
God I pray that you grant me this
-- show me the way
So that I may please You.

Father-God, let my love for You
Be a reflection of Your love for me
May I walk in Your Spirit with love
For You and for those around me.

God I'm confused. I'm lost, I'm weary.
Show me what to do, grant me peace
Your Word lights my path, give me grace
To follow it's shine -- wherever it leads.

His Word Is Truth

2010-09-06T10:19:00.000-04:00

It is that whisper in your ear

and the thunder that you fear

It is that thought in your head

and the voice while in bed

It is written in the stars above

and we can see declarations of His love

In the written Word He gave to us

and in the many ways He speaks

In the things that He created

and in the testimony He has given me

In the evidences of my salvation

and in the love that I have for Him

Christ alone has saved me

Christ alone has bought me

Christ alone owns me

And Christ alone will take me

to my eternal home

I praise God who has given me love

I praise God who has given me faith

I praise God who has given me passion

a passion for truth

His Word is Truth

Tumblr....

2010-08-02T21:36:00.000-04:00

I now have a Tumblr account. Click here to visit it. It is pretty cool, I think. the majority of my posts and traffic will be on there from here on out. My intention is to slowly phase this blog out, and to eventually use my personal domain (alexanderganahl.com) as a more business-type website, and keep creedofman.com as my personal blog, wherever I may host that blog.

Blogger has done me faithful service over the years, since 2007 when I created my first blogspot blog. Those were in the days before Google owned the world and we all sold our souls to be a part of the Google Universe. I will still be posting, for awhile at least, but let it be known that I have moved. Follow me over at http://www.creedofman.com!

Love Heals

2010-08-02T16:09:00.000-04:00

Only You can take away

The stress and hurt inside

I feel like I am by myself

Please fill me, completely.

God is my refuge

In Him I will trust

I'll never be dismayed

Never, no never.

All alone I feel despair

The love I felt before

Is missing from my life

God I long for love -- so fill me.

God is my refuge

In Him I will trust

I'll never be dismayed

Never, no never.

Your love will make me whole

Will ease the pain I feel

Your love shows me a friend

Christ is with me forever

God is my refuge

In Him I will trust

I'll never be dismayed

Never, no never.

Life-Thoughts

2010-07-30T18:09:00.000-04:00

It is an odd feeling to have just passed the last two CLEPs that I needed. I'm not done with my degree, but I don't have any more CLEPs. It's somewhat weird, is all. Cool, but weird.

Looking back at the last couple of years, it is slightly amazing to me to realize that in only 15 months I have earned 96 credits toward my BA in English. I have 9 more credits scheduled to finish by the end of August, and then just 18 more after that. I'm almost done. Just a couple more semesters.

It is making me think hard about what I need to do over the next months, over the next year. I'm about to jump into life, and I don't know if I'm going to be ready. Sure, I'll have my BA in English, I'll know how to write, I've had a couple of jobs, and I've had a lot of varied experience doing different things. I'm very confidant by nature - but I just don't know if I will be ready or not. And that feeling of not knowing scares me.

It comes down to just one thing, in the end. It has been God who has given me the grace to pass all my tests and get all the credits. It will be God who gives me the grace to finish. I know, although I am afraid, that it will be God who will create the opportunities for my that I need for my career. If I am listening to His guiding voice, then He will take care of me.

And that is all that matters.

Interesting. Because I say it is.

2010-07-26T16:18:00.000-04:00

"But I must explain to you how all this mistaken idea of denouncing pleasure and praising pain was born and I will give you a complete account of the system, and expound the actual teachings of the great explorer of the truth, the master-builder of human happiness. No one rejects, dislikes, or avoids pleasure itself, because it is pleasure, but because those who do not know how to pursue pleasure rationally encounter consequences that are extremely painful. Nor again is there anyone who loves or pursues or desires to obtain pain of itself, because it is pain, but because occasionally circumstances occur in which toil and pain can procure him some great pleasure. To take a trivial example, which of us ever undertakes laborious physical exercise, except to obtain some advantage from it? But who has any right to find fault with a man who chooses to enjoy a pleasure that has no annoying consequences, or one who avoids a pain that produces no resultant pleasure?"

"On the other hand, we denounce with righteous indignation and dislike men who are so beguiled and demoralized by the charms of pleasure of the moment, so blinded by desire, that they cannot foresee the pain and trouble that are bound to ensue; and equal blame belongs to those who fail in their duty through weakness of will, which is the same as saying through shrinking from toil and pain. These cases are perfectly simple and easy to distinguish. In a free hour, when our power of choice is untrammelled and when nothing prevents our being able to do what we like best, every pleasure is to be welcomed and every pain avoided. But in certain circumstances and owing to the claims of duty or the obligations of business it will frequently occur that pleasures have to be repudiated and annoyances accepted. The wise man therefore always holds in these matters to this principle of selection: he rejects pleasures to secure other greater pleasures, or else he endures pains to avoid worse pains."

If anyone figures out what this is from, let me know. Some hints:

Extremely common
Has been used since the 1500s in basically the same form as it is used today
It's usually in a different language

I finally just looked something up that I've been mildly interested in and have used for awhile, just like everyone else.

Thank God For Love

2010-07-25T22:21:00.001-04:00

Confusion fills every waking thought
What happened? And why?
Where did the trust go, the love?
Almost enough to doubt it once existed.

New friends and new faces, sometimes
Only add to the mess that I am.
As soon as I have life resolved
The puzzle, once balanced, crashes down.

Picking up the endless pieces,
Trying to put my life back together
No longer seeking for romance
Yet always looking for true love.

I am content, I suppose. I will wait.
A few years from now, perhaps
The right girl will be waiting
For me to sweep her off her feet.

But idle dreaming only brings depression
Much better to live life with love
And joy, not with worry about the future
At peace where I am -- I am content.

In my search for true love
I discovered love's source.
Father-God manifested love through His Son
Jesus Christ is love embodied.

I get distracted, at times
Mistaking attraction for love.
But sometimes the love is real
Drawing us close in heart and soul.

Good friends are gifts from God
I love them, they love me, and together
We are filled with joy and happiness
This is true fellowship -- loving one another.

My thoughts fall into place eventually
It takes time, more than anything else
Time away, just thinking, praying, dreaming.
Then I make decisions, order the chaos.

I thank God for seasons
Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter
I thank God for friends
My love for them, theirs for me.

The fellowship is sweet that stems
From life-talks with the ones I love.
I pray that we will be friends forever.
I thank God for love:
His, mine, and ours.

Imagine:

2010-07-18T17:36:00.000-04:00

A man. Scarred and weatherworn. Clothed simply. Clean, but with dusty feet. Walking in the midst of a group of other men, distinguishable only because of the deference the others show to him. He has worked hard for most of his life, as evidenced by his muscular build. Not athletic, but sturdy and endurable. His calves are defined; he has walked the hills and rocky terrain often. Sandals, well-used, protect his feet from the road as he travels. The stamina that he demonstrates comes from a lifetime spent walking wherever he must go. Leathery skin speaks of the amount of time spent in the open air. His face is peaceful. No marks of anger crease his brow, rather, he most often smiles - easily seen at a glance. His eyes sparkle, clear and pure, reflecting the sun and yet seeming to reflect inner light as well. After a little while observing him, you see that he is teaching the other men. They hang on every word, as if in a desert, waiting for each drop of precious liquid to fall.

This man is my Lord and Savior.

This man gave His life so I could live.

This man loves me like none other

This man was of average appearance when He walked the earth.

This man is, was, and will be forever.

This is the God-Man, Jesus Christ.

To My Friends

2010-07-15T21:48:00.003-04:00

The summer is over. According to the calendar it has a couple of months left, but as far as I am concerned, the summer is over. All of the good parts - hanging out with my friends, staying up all night, no school, no worries - have had their time, and it is now time for me to start working again.

The past month-and-a-half have been amazing - possibly the best 6 weeks of my life to date. I was with people that I loved, having as much fun as humanly possible, working on a film crew, and generally enjoying life. There were moments and hours when I just needed to get away from it all, spend time by myself or other friends, and time alone with God, but the experience of being with close friends for nearly 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, was awesome. I grew really close to them, and I will always remember this summer.

Coming home was hard. Saying goodbye, not knowing for sure when I would see everyone again, not knowing if we would all ever be in the same place at the same time again, but knowing that I was going to be alone at home, was hard. I didn't say goodbye to everyone - I couldn't. So I said goodbye to a few people, and then I ran away from it all. I should have said goodbye to a few more people, but I couldn't stay any longer. I was at a point where I was either going to just leave, or stay another few hours and try not to break down for that much longer. I chose to run away, and cry on my way home in the car.

Yeah, this summer was that awesome. The tears that I shed were not tears of anger at having to end the summer, but rather tears of sadness mixed with awe at the beautiful thing that my summer had been. If I were to try to describe my summer, I wouldn't be able to do it. I can only try to paint a picture in your mind.

Imagine: Rain falling from a cloudless sky, over a plain swept with the wind, the long grass swaying back and forth. The stars filling the sky, so that everywhere you look, you see constellations and galaxies filling the heavens. Shooting stars, a wish made on every one of them. A gentle breeze kissing your skin as you lay back on a rooftop, almost asleep, but not quite. A young woman singing for her boyfriend into her phone, while walking along the canal at 2 a.m. A cyclist, riding his bike without hands so that he can play his guitar - 3 a.m. along the canal. All piled up on a single couch - meant for three people, they were five - so that they could watch a movie together. Late night walks, miles and miles out in the country - not getting back until the wee hours of the morning. Swimming in the creek, swollen by the thunderstorms - floating downstream, letting the current carry you gently.

This is just a small part of my summer, and yet, it encompasses most of what made it so special. There was the music, the movies, the talks, the things we did. Imagine, once again, all the things I just wrote about. Now add the people. Your best friends. My best friends. The people that you love. Doing all of those things, experience all of those things with them.

Caroline, Gracie, Nicky, Tyler - thanks for an awesome summer. I love you all so much.

Why the heck. Why. The heck. Yeah.

2010-07-05T13:07:00.000-04:00

All good things have to come to an end...and it is really stinking annoying when some people try to end the goodness early. They suck. They really do.

What is the meaning of life? Why the heck do I always come back to the meaning of life when I am depressed? Wouldn't it just be lovely if there weren't any jerks in this world? If there weren't any jerks, then I wouldn't get ticked off...

So this song that I am listening to right now kinda fits my mood...

Don't wake me
Cause I don't wanna leave this dream
Don't wake me
Cause I never seem to stay asleep enough
When it's you I'm dreaming of
I don't wanna wake up

Don't wake me
We're together just you and me
Don't wake me
Cause we're happy like we used to be
I know I've gotta let you go
But don't wake me

Yeah...I feel like this summer has been kinda a dream, and it's time to wake up. Yeah.

Without Fear

2010-06-27T22:38:00.000-04:00

When I think about what my life means
When I look at the stars in the sky
When I contemplate the rain that falls
When I wonder as I wander along the road

Then I know, that only this I know
That all I know, is meaningless unless
With all that I know, I seek to live
My life for my Savior - He is my all

I look around and all that I can see
Is Your face, You are looking down at me
As You look down from on high
I feel Your love, pouring over me as a flood

Your grace has filled me, my cup runs over
Your love completes me, I lack nothing
Your faith is steadfast, never ending and forever
Your Son is the Christ, Jesus Christ, the truth.

May the truth remain
May I proclaim the truth from the high places
May I proclaim truth to the whole world
May I proclaim truth - and never know fear.

A Couple Thoughts

2010-06-27T22:12:00.001-04:00

The days are just flying by like a dream...one after another, each special in its own way, each connected, and each has made itself memorable to me. I'm high on life...I think I'm figuring out liberty...and the pursuit of happiness is going just dandy. Life is good.

I'm going to look back on this summer with longing, I'm sure...right now, I'm just happy to be where I am, doing what I'm doing. God is making a lot of things make sense. I talked with my mom and dad today - about staying at Verity, going distance, or even quitting Verity and just getting my degree through Thomas Edison. They want me to go distance, so that's what I'm going to do. I'm looking forward to getting a job. I've honestly missed working. I think that is something that a man needs. Work is vital to a man's sense of providing, and it builds character...yeah.

I'm going to keep it short tonight. I love all of you. G'night.

Awesome God

2010-06-23T20:34:00.000-04:00

I'm sitting on a bench in the park - it is the first time that I have been outside today. It's a little warm, but not uncomfortably so, and there is a cool breeze blowing. It has been a dull day, without much to differentiate this day from any other. I have been thinking a lot today - more than usual.

What is it that makes me different than the people that I learn from? Am I nothing more than the sum of my parts? Or am a a new creation, altogether different because of the conglomeration of teachers that I have had? I am unique in Christ - but what does that mean?

I know that I am unlike any other person - I am unique. At the same time, I have a lot of the same character traits of my grandfather, I look like my mom and dad, and much of what I believe has been taught to me. Very little of what I know did I discover for myself. The same things could probably be said of every person on Earth. So am I really that different?

Am i special? If I am more than the sum of my parts, then yes, I am special. If I am not, then I and everyone that I know are in essence the same. I believe that not only am I greater than what I am made of, but that God has a specific purpose for me. That makes me special.

Everyone is special, I suppose...Do you know the line that goes: "I'm unique - just like everyone else!"? It's cheesy, but in essence it is true. God has made each person in the same way - we are each sculpted by our surroundings, by the people that He has put us with, and even the DNA that we are made of is not a pure strain from one person. Yet, in the similarity lies the differences. All of the little factors that make up the whole make each of us different.

I am humbled by the greatness of my Heavenly Father...that He would create me...

May I always be His servant.

Above All

2010-06-23T17:28:00.002-04:00

Thoughts of many things fill my mind
Thoughts of people, places, time
Thoughts of what is, what was, what will be
Thoughts of many things fill my mind.

Dreaming of what might be someday
Dreaming of what I should do today
Dreaming of what I wish had happened
Dreaming of what I pray will be.

Truth is what drives me, I'm searching for it
Truth is what keeps me going, when I am discouraged
Truth is what soothes my mind, when I am confused
Truth is what drives me -- so I'm searching.

Only one thing I know for sure
Only one thing is absolute
Only one thing is forever
Only one thing is always there.

Christ is King of my life
Christ is the Lord of all
Christ is my Savior
Christ -- He is my all.

Caroline

2010-06-21T22:38:00.000-04:00

Caroline sits next to me, writing away on her computer, as I write this post about her. she writes about me, and I am actually pretty interested in what she has to say. I don't know the style of what she is going to write, I don't know what words she will use, and I don't even have a clue as to how long it will be. I am amused by the look on her face as she asks me, "so what am I writing?" I laugh inside.

We are listening to the music that is streaming from my blog...it amuses me that it is mostly love songs that are playing currently. I am easily amused - but that is beside the point. I'm not talking about myself, but about Caroline.

Reddish-brown hair covers her head, curly and somewhat unruly due to the humidity and the rain. Over the past few days, Caroline and I have spent a lot of time outside. Her eyes are green, her skin white, and she doesn't tan easily at all. She is a lot of fun to hang out with, and an awesome friend.

We really don't have much to do right now. Technically, it is after curfew, but the film crew won't be back for another couple of hours so curfew isn't that important. Chuck is sitting at his computer in the background.

A little while ago Caroline and I danced to a couple songs - we are waiting until we can dance on the roof later. Caroline's eyes are going back and forth from being wide open, staring at the screen of her MacBook, to squinting and thinking about what she is going to write next.

Caroline doesn't like to wear skirts. She always wears pants underneath her skirt, when she has to wear one, and apparently takes every available opportunity to wear only the pants.

She is someone who is easily misunderstood, I think, and I am grateful that I have had the opportunity to learn who she really is - not form an opinion on her based on just what I notice and what other people notice. Caroline doesn't remind me of anyone else. Most people that I know have parallels to each other in one way or another. Caroline is different, in a really awesome way. I wouldn't have been able to know her the way that I do if I hadn't swallowed my fears and asked her some deep questions, though. I was afraid that we had unresolvable difference in our beliefs. I was wrong, and I am grateful for that.

I am looking forward to the next three weeks with Caroline...late nights, too much coffee, swing dancing, watching movies, and generally having fun in and around working on the movie.

I'm done with this blog post, but I don't think that Caroline is done writing her post about me. I hope we will go up on the roof again tonight...I need some garlic to repel those nasty little bloodsuckers, though. I feel as if I am being drained of all the blood in my body, drop by drop...

Lost inside...

2010-06-20T01:12:00.000-04:00

The past week has been pretty rough for me, for some reason. For the longest time, I couldn't think of why. I'm where I want to be, doing what I want to be doing, with the people that I want to be doing it with. So why am I feeling so down?

Over the past couple of days, I've slowly been figuring it out. It's because I'm torn. I'm torn between what I really believe, and what I think I believe. I'm torn between what I am, and what I should be. I'm torn between the people that I love. I'm torn between love and like. I'm torn between respect and emotions.

I've decided that life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness is overrated. It's all well and good, but what is life? It happens. Living is just something that I do. Liberty isn't freedom. It's restriction. And I'm having a hard time with that right now. The pursuit of happiness is only worthwhile if I can actually get what I'm pursuing - and I can't right now. It wouldn't be right, it wouldn't be honorable, and it's not what God wants me to do.

I've decided that I'm gonna have to trust God completely for the answers. I don't know what I'm thinking right now. I'm very confused. I know that I can only look to Christ for wisdom and guidance.

To Live Is Christ -- To Die Is Gain

2010-06-01T19:22:00.001-04:00

Beloved of Christ, I am adopted
I am the brother of Christ -- adopted
Into the family of God, I desire
Only to do the will of my Father, who is wiser
And to see His Kingdom come on Earth,
His Kingdom come on Earth just like
His Kingdom in Heaven -- Your Kingdom come.

One day I'm gonna see the Christ -- God-Man
And Savior of the whole world, crucified
But risen again -- He's coming in glory
The risen Lamb, the King of Justice, King
Over all that is, over all that was, will be
King on a white horse, robe dipped on blood -- red
With blood. His name written down, Lord of Lords.

He is my King, He's coming again in glory
Flaming sword at His side, proclaiming justice
To the whe world, Yes the whole world
They shall see His judgment come, poured
Out, poured out on mankind, on those
Whose names are not written in the Book
The Book of Life is my ticket home.

My home is with God, His home is here
When He cleanses the Earth, cleansing with fire
When the seas are gone, the ocean is no more
Jerusalem comes down, the Father too -- dwell
With mankind -- His creation. His creation of love.
Sun, moon, and stars -- their light is not needed
The glory of God -- He as a light shining.

Christ is coming again, coming again in glory
I want to see that day, hear those trumpets
What God has for me until then is this:
He wants me to proclaim Truth -- the Truth
His Wors is Truth, Jesus is the Word, so
The God-Man I will proclaim. My life is His,
I've given it over, I will live until I die
For Him.

peace-flow

2010-05-17T11:56:00.001-04:00

when all around me is crashing like waves against a cliff, when the stress is too much for me to handle on my own -- God I look to You. when everything seems like a storm, lightning and thunder and tornado and like a hurricane in my soul, You alone can give me peace. Peace like a river can consume my soul, peace like still waters and green pastures. though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, because you are with me. When I am falsely accused I will not fear justice, because You are the justice-giver, great God Almighty. I love You and serve You and You alone, You will protect me, Your rod and staff will comfort me and they will indeed provide the security to give me peace for my soul. You fill my cup and it runs over with Your grace and goodness to me, Your promises are everlasting, Almighty and True is Your Word, I love my great and all-powerful God, great and awesome is He. One day He is coming again, until that day I will wait, looking forward to it with Joy and longing. You grant me Your peace, Your promise I claim as mine. When I feel as though I'm on a tempest tossed ocean, all alone, You cover me and lift me with Your hand, and I can feel peace. Peace in Your word, peace through Your promises, peace through Your Son -- and peace through the Holy Spirit, messenger of God given to me. Peace like a quiet rain, peace like a mother's touch, peace like a gentle breeze blowing, peace like a calm lake at sunrise. Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Glory Revealed

2010-05-14T09:35:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I wake up early in the morning
I see the sun rising, in all of its glory
Shining brightly, spreading light throughout the heaven
It shouts His glory and His praise -- Creator God

Late at night, when I look to the stars above
I see the handiwork of the Mighty One
Lord of all His creation -- Loving Father
If I did not speak in praise, stones would cry out!

The green grass growing, blue water swiftly flowing
Stately oaks, majestic elms, great sequoias
A whisper, a shout, a song -- You brought them forth
Ex nihilim -- out of nothing You created all

I laugh when I feel the rain fall on my skin
Thank You for Your promise -- rainbow in heaven
I swim in the river, then bask in the sun
Your glory, explained by the light of Your Word

     All points to You -- the Creator and Maker
     Heaven and Earth bow down
   Declaring Your praises
     Here below.

Deep Thoughts...Deep Prayer...Hard Battle

2010-05-02T01:14:00.001-04:00

It sucks when spiritual warfare hits close. I mean, it's what I've been asking God to do with my life. It's what God wants me to do with my life. Preaching the truth to the world, no matter what the cost, no matter what the price. But it's hard, and it hurts, when your own friends are the one's you have to fight. God, give me strength and grace. I can't do this.

When the truth comes out before my eyes
And it's not what I thought it would be
When the truth comes out, and it's all lies
God, what do I do? Only You, not Me
Can help me now, I'm hurt and weary.

What can I say, what can I do?
Spiritual battle is Your will for me, I know
Your Word I'll say, 'cuz Your Word is true
Jesus Christ is the way, the truth, You show
Your love through Him, He was brought low.

Your love, Your peace, Your grace
Are the only things that keep me going
I'll fight the fight, I'll run that race
With power, because You are showing
Me the straight and narrow path to tread.

Glory to God, King of Kings
Ashle-Deio, Your will work in me
Undule-Sheio, to You the choir sings
Beautiful Savior, You died so I am free
To worship You, and live with You, in glory.

Come quickly, Christ Jesus, come marry Your bride
I'm impatient, I know, and I'll wait if I must
You've got things for me to conquer, like my pride
God, I'm ready. So can't you just
Come now? Why wait? God, I'm ready.

I'm ready for Your return, Christ Jesus. Come quickly.

[Amani Salvadori]

2010-04-27T22:14:00.000-04:00

When the fires in my life are raging,
When they are too big for me to control,
     Where should I go?
     Where should I look?
     What should I do?

If I'm trusting in myself, I'm lost,
If I'm thinking I can handle it, I lie,
     Where should I go?
     Where should I look?
     What should I do?

God, what can I do? I'm so pathetic.
I'm lost on my own, only You can save me.
     I'm coming to You.
     I'm looking to You.
     I'm doing Your will.

You have put out all the fires in my stead,
You sent Your Son, to pay the cost - covered me.
     I'm safe with You.
     I'm free with You.
     I'm secure in You.

God I don't want to be stupid, really...
From now on, I'm just gonna do Your will.

Heart Cry

2010-04-22T23:48:00.001-04:00

Heavenly Father, Almighty God
Holy Spirit, Dwell in me
Christ Jesus, come quickly

Heavenly Father, Powerful Maker
Holy Spirit, fill my life
Come quickly, Christ Jesus

Heavenly Father, God Most High
Holy Spirit, live in me
Christ Jesus, come quickly

I want to see you ride, Holy Christ
My Savior, the Living God
Come quickly, Risen King

You are coming again, Bright and Glorious
Savior of the World, Groom to the Bride
Risen King, come quickly

One day I will see Your face
Savior of my soul, Great Judge
Come quickly, Risen King

He is coming for His Bride, the Church
I am one of His sons, His child
Son of God, care for me

One of His chosen, called His by name
I speak the truth, proclaim it to the world
Care for me, Son of God

No matter what comes, I look ahead
Looking forward to Christ's return, that Holy day
Son of God, care for me

For now I will wait, I will be content
With where I am, with what God wants
Lamb of God, lead me

I will follow His will, work for His glory
Moment by moment seeking, acting in God's will
Lead me, Lamb of God

Christ before, behind, and all around me
I fear no evil, because He is with me
Lamb of God, lead me

Come quickly Christ Jesus, Savior, Messiah
My life is His, it's Christ's alone
In Faith alone, will I live

Lamb of God, Prince of Peace, Almighty Judge
Take my life, as an instrument of Your will
I will live by Grace alone

Almighty God, Maker of Heaven, Creator of Earth
Nothing and no one else satisfies my soul
Because of Christ alone, will I live.

Freaked Out - Restored

2010-04-20T23:09:00.002-04:00

Woke up one morning, in a cold sweat
Heart racing, blood pumping, I was
Totally freaked out. At what I had
Seen, 'cuz it was me, but doing things
And living a life I thought was over.

My God saved me - this I know
Took my sins, and washed me white as snow
I no longer live that life, My God
He saved my life, I don't need to
Freak out - I'm just gonna have some Jesus time.

That's what I like about God's Word
His Word heals, restores, brings peace to me
There are green pastures there, He leads me to
Still waters, He makes my soul feel new
Psalm 23 - read it man. It's good.

Spirit to Spirit...

2010-04-20T22:50:00.000-04:00

So lately I've been writing song lyrics/poetry, whatever you like to call it. It's been really cool to me to see how God gives me these things to write down. I'm going to start sharing some of it on here.

Who leads me by still waters,
    restores my soul?
He who created me, breathed me,
    made me whole.
The Lord God Almighty,
    why should He -
Creator-God, Majestic,
    untethered, free -
Bind Himself to be like me,
    born as a man?
Taking on body and flesh,
    child of a woman.
Eternal Father, watching Son on Earth
    grow, with love.
Into a man, strong, powerful -
    Father sent a dove
To declare the Man, Jesus,
    His only Son.
Baptized in water, now sweating blood,
    "Thy will be done"
Jesus prayed, as in Gethsemane,
    He sweated in agony.
The priests came, the soldiers too,
hung Him on that tree.
Son of God, He is my love,
    Who died in love for me.
One day I'll see Him again
    He is coming to see
The outcome of His Sacrifice of love
    His blood poured out
            On me.

Randomishness Stuff

2010-04-17T23:51:00.000-04:00

Today has really been just an off day. I've felt like crap due to allergies/being a little sick, I'm exhausted, I've been spiritually attacked all day, and it's just been a pretty draining day. Looking back on why it's been so hard today, I've realized that a large part of it, probably the greatest part of my problem, is that for the past few days I haven't been seeking God. I've been praying, but I haven't been seeking Him. I've slacked off in my Bible reading, and I've been just coasting "on my reserves." That's a really bad place to be. I'm rather fed up with myself because of it. Because I haven't been seeking Christ diligently, I've been weak and succumbed to spiritual attack. I've repented and renounced my sin before God, and I'm not going to go down that path again, but I'm fed up with who I am.

My prayer is that God would change me. I've been coasting in between lessons for a little while now, and I need God to teach me again. I've been learning from Him, but I need Him to change my life yet again, for His glory and my good. I know it will be hard, but that's what I need.

On a slightly different note, I'm just going to put out my ideas about church briefly. First, I believe that the church is the body of believers in the Lord Jesus Christ. It's not about the building, the denomination, or set of doctrine that any group believes in. It's the body of believers around the world that all claim the risen Christ as Savior. I also believe that the act of going to church is for the purpose of fellowship with the church - fellowship with other believers. A belief that follows from this is my belief that church can happen anywhere that a group of believers gathers. Fellowship between believers constitutes church. I believe that teaching is good, but that is not the point of church. The main point of church is for believers to come together in Christian fellowship and in worship and praise of our God.

I don't know if I will ever be a part of a church where everybody believes what I do. I doubt it. I know that someday I will probably have to settle in one church that I mostly agree with, but I think that it is a sad thing that the church is so split today. Denominations may serve some purpose, but personally, I think that God doesn't like them. The church is His bride that He is coming to claim soon, and if all of these different denominations are quarreling and arguing over differing beliefs, how does that show unity? There is only one bride, not many.

There are so many things that I am pondering...good things, but hard things. Maybe I'm being a little pessimistic here, but I almost feel as if things have been going to smoothly and too easily for too long. I just know something is gonna happen soon...I just pray that it would be something that God will teach me through, and that He would give me the grace to learn what He has for me to learn.

I love all of you so much...I miss my friends back home, but I'm also going to miss everybody here at school when you all leave this summer. I'm praying for all of you.

He is Risen!

2010-04-04T12:52:00.000-04:00

He is risen indeed! I'm still up in Michigan at the Knudsen's, but yesterday I felt that God wanted me to just stay here and not go to church this morning. So instead of going to church with everyone, I just stayed here, read the Psalms and Proverb of the day, went on a walk, read through the resurrection accounts in the Gospels, and continued reading in Revelation. Spent some time in pray and just listening to God. It was good. I think that doing something like this is a big thing that I missed at the beginning of last semester - I didn't go into the semester having sought God, and just spent some time alone with Him, seeking Him.

I'm really looking forward to this summer. I mean, this next semester is going to be really cool - God has given me a lot of motivation and excitement for what He is going to teach me, and just for my studies, but when I look forward to working on the movie this summer, I am filled with joy. I finally am sure that it is what God is wanting me to do, and I am content with the fact that I probably won't be going back to school for the summer semester.

In regards to going back to school in August: I've been praying about finances and God providing for that for awhile, but today I just asked God to speak to me. He did, and gave me peace about not worrying about it. He didn't say that I would be going back - in fact I don't think that I will be going back - but I know that He wants me to work on this film, and not worry about finances. I love the feeling that accompanies being in God's will - I truly "taste and see that the Lord is good."

God bless all of you this Easter!

It's been awhile...

2010-04-01T15:05:00.000-04:00

Looking back over the past year, I can see how God has taught me and brought me through so much. It's crazy and insane to even consider how much I (or rather God) has done, what I've experienced, the joy and pain I've gone through, but I know that it has happened, and that by God's grace, I've come through, and I am a stronger Christian and a better follower of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. The past year has been a roller coaster, in more ways than just one or two.
Just a few more days than a year ago, I went through a pretty bad breakup. I spent a few months bouncing around, getting into some stuff that I shouldn't have, creating a lot of emotional ties that would come back to bite me later. After a few months, I though I was over it. I wasn't, but I spent the rest of the summer and early fall proving to myself and everyone else that I was okay - pretty much by hanging out and having a blast with my friends all the time.

God used the Singles WIT Conference in September to begin the process of breaking the walls and facades of who I was pretending to be, and stripping away the habits and attitudes that I had taken on. I'd become a very emotionally driven, dependent, proud, selfish, rebellious, love-hungry person. I was trying to fulfill these things through other people - mainly girls - and God was using different things to teach me what I was, first, truly looking for, and second, how to find it.

At the WIT Conference, God started to break me. There was a lot of bitterness that I had stored up, and He took it away during those four days. I finally finished and submitted my application for Verity, and just 3 weeks later, I started orientation. I was intending to be a distance student - now, I have a hard time imagining what it would be like at home. God told me that I needed to be on campus, so my parents decided that I would be on campus. We are just trusting God for the money as it comes, and it's awesome. We have nothing for next year, but He has provided for this year and I am confident that He will continue to do so for wherever he wants me.

During the past two semesters at school, I have learned more from God than I have actual school or "head knowledge" - I really don't think that is a bad thing. I've had some big lessons to learn, and I've been grateful for the people that God has put in my life right now to teach me those things. On a little bit of a side note, I think that God is giving me a small break, to study some things in Scripture that I've wanted to study for awhile, but that I haven't had time to do.

An overarching theme of the whole last year is God's grace and justice. It has been really cool to see how God doesn't let me get away with anything, but He also gives me the grace to learn from my mistakes and to change my heart.

God is awesome.

Brief snippet of life...

2010-03-10T14:37:00.001-05:00

Went home last weekend, and had a really good talk Saturday afternoon
with Drew and Heather...cleared up some misunderstandings and stuff,
and hung out. There was a conference going on at College Park, so I
caught the last part of that. One of the highlights of my day was the
concert by Fernando Ortega Saturday night. That was awesome...his CDs
don't do him justice. He is one of those artists that is WAY better
live than recorded.

Sent from my iPod

Should be done now...

2010-03-05T12:02:00.002-05:00

Ok...all the changes and updates should be set for my blog now. That was definitely a crazy set of circumstances...at the same time that I transferred my blog to my domain, my source for theme elements (the server that was hosting them) disappeared. For a little while I wasn't sure what the problem was, but I got it figured out eventually. Interesting fact...the last few themes I've had I found online and then heavily edited, to the point that I was making code changes significant enough that the theme becomes mine, thus I don't credit the original source. I'm not trying to steal anything here, I just feel that after a certain point of editing heavily the work becomes my own.

Let me know what you think about the new look and slightly different feel - I'm open to making a few more changes if I need to!

New look, new address...

2010-03-02T11:26:00.001-05:00

After some minor trouble and much annoyance, I now have my own domain, some free web hosting, I'm looking forward to hosting my own web server soon, and life is moving briskly!

I had to completely redo my blog themes and everything, because the server that I was pulling my theme elements from is giving me 404 errors. So, I just simplified it, and we'll see what I can do with it in the near future. The main thing that is different about my blog is that the domain has changed: My blog is now at http://cityboy319.alexanderganahl.com, as you can see above.

I'm toying with the idea of starting a vlog...if I do I will throw up some links to it on here. Let me know what you think...if that's an interesting idea or what. My picture blog is pretty much a fail...mainly due to the fact that I really don't have a lot of pictures that I take...really, I don't...

May the Lord bless you today!

stream flow

2010-02-24T02:44:00.000-05:00

listening to the avatar soundtrack with eyes closed, typing as the words flow, it's 2:30 in the morning, my favorite time of the night. I think about what needs to be done - an essay to write, papers to grade, life to live, and remember a conversation earlier with my room mates. life is so futile. no matter what we do, it's no more than a mark on the page of a much greater book, written by God. nothing that I can do will really affect the outcome of what happens in the end. I am so small and insignificant. the music fades out...another song fades in...i still have my eyes closed. i can hear nothing else, i feel the chill air in my room, the weight of my headphones presses on my head - not uncomfortable. I feel the cord fall down my back, gently brushing against my shoulder as I move...themusic picks up pace...I can envision what is happeneing in the movie...I shiver a little as the cold strikes me. I will go to bed soon, my caffeine buzz is wearing off...i'm starting to shake. so much to do, so much that i need to get done, so much that i want to do. but it's all worthless if i don't keep my focus on my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. so much stress in my life...why? surrendur to God, He will take care of me...I miss my friends...my long talks...the peace of mind that I once had. Life used to be so simple, and yet even then I thought it complicated. The song changes again, I'mstarting to get tired. thoughts slowing down...filled with the desire for sleep and yet to wired to fall asleep...that's why i'm still working at 2:30 in the morning...I remember being downtown at this time over the summer...I want to do that again this summer. with my friends...just hanging out at all hours of the night. learning so much about tech stuff...unix, linus, terminal in Mac...fun stuff and yet I am struck with the utter futility of life and begin to question my existence...why do I live? and then I remember...I live to serve my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ...that is reason sufficient for me. The music changes yet again...quieter again...stereo effects are amazing...I can hear every detail...my headphones cancel out every other sound. i can't even hear myself typing...my roommates are asleep. John in his bed beside me tyler in his bed to my right...my bed is to my left, waiting for me to get into it...i remember that I have twitter duty for school tomorrow...and am struck with the feeling that I now have conflicting activities on Satrday but don' tremember what...oh yeah its a church activity and then ice skating possibly...my life is too packed...i should slow down and concentrate on school and what I'm here to do...but then i would miss out on hanging out with my friends..i need to hang out with them more...Drew is leaving in just a couple months...i may only see him a couple times between now and then...he's goign to be gone for a long time...the music picks up...i've still got my eyes closed...i can sense nothing other then the chair i'm sitting on and my keyboard at my fingertips...and my headphones/chord falling down my back...my foot is starting to hurt...i'm sitting on it...my thoughts are stoping...i think it's time for sleep...just a couple hours..s...i'm going to drink a lot of coffee tomorrow...good night

You spin me right round...

2010-02-18T09:56:00.002-05:00

On and on and on and on and on...why can't I just step off for a minute to catch my breath? The past couple weeks have just flown by in a blur. US History I was a lot of fun with Mr Miller, but I had a hard time finding time to study during the study week. Just too much to do, and I was not managing my time well either. I ended up working on coursework some of the time, but honestly...I don't know where a lot of the time went. It was one of those weeks that I felt busy all the time, but looking back on it I just don't know where the days went.

Overall, though, life has been going pretty well. I've been scrambling a lot, but that's not entirely my fault - Uncle Father Jim died, and there has been a lot of stuff going on with that, my family going out to California and all the stress involved with that. I have to go home and feed the cats every day...not a huge stress, just time consuming.

God has taught me so much over the past month, it's mind-boggling. Pretty much the only way I can deal with the sheer quantity I've been taught is to just realize that I've changed, continue living the way that I am an applying what I was taught, and not worry about it. To just continue to live moment by moment, every moment in God's will, striving for His glory in all that I do.

Having a few minutes...

2010-02-08T08:42:00.001-05:00

Of a Monday morning I am usually granted a few precious minutes of my day to call mine...it all depends on how long my encouragement group takes. This morning I have about 1/2 of an hour. I shall attempt to use it wisely.

Oooooohhhhh my has a lot happened since my last post. God has been teaching me so much! As of right now, I am still on C status but I should be going back up to B status today. I am not going to spend this post spouting off what God taught me, but if you email me then I will most gladly share my thoughts on manhood and friendship with you.

I went dancing last weekend, which activity was loads of fun.

Friday night games, led by Vanessa, have become a staple of my weekend life.

Taylor and Whitney Lindsey are back at school!

I do believe that those are the most important things that have been going on...let's see I passed Western Civ I, I'm in US History I (testing on Friday), I am taking a course in World Literature, I have 6 essays to grade for the D-roll students (at least 6...maybe more), I'd like to fit going to the Mission in today, and I am going to attempt to audit the Shakespeare class! I'm trying not to freak out...but it really is a ton!

Anyway. May God bless each of you in your endeavors this week.

I'm hungry and tired and stressed.

2010-01-23T01:01:00.000-05:00

Meh...I don't think this post will be either encouraging or edifying. I'm just gonna kinda put some thoughts out there and then go to bed...and hopefully post again tomorrow from a (hopefully) better frame of mind.

For some reason I decided that it would be a good idea to play volleyball tonight at the gym...one of my seemingly bright ideas at the time. The first couple of games were ok. Won one and lost one, and had some fun. It was just fun...not too competitive, but not just messing around either. It was a good balance. I should have quit while I was ahead...but I kept playing for the rest of the night, just getting more and more annoyed and fed up with it all. I knew better I guess...I just kept on playing for some reason. This week has pretty much been wasted for me, class-wise. Mr. Federer is an awesome speaker with a lot of really good things to say, but quite honestly this week has been wasted for Western Civ I. I'm going to have to spend all this weekend and next week studying like crazy for a class that I should have learned most of this past week.

On a slightly brighter note, the Dual Enrollment students have gone through and finished with their orientation, and I will begin my duties as a Student Counselor for three of them next week. They are some really great guys. The program has come such a long way since I was going through it, it's really cool.

I guess in summary the week has overall stunk, but it has had a couple bright points. I guess a good thing to do would be to focus on the bright spots, and where God is leading me and on what He is teaching me, rather than seeing the whole as depressing...

Maybe I'll get over it by morning ;)

Just for fun...

2010-01-21T11:16:00.003-05:00

If I were a month, I'd be March...if I was in California.
If I were a day of the week, I'd be Friday...cuz the party starts Friday night.
If I were a time of day, I'd be 3 in the morning.
If I were a planet, I'd be Neptune.
If I were a sea animal, I'd be a clownfish...isn't Nemo awesome?
If I were a direction, I'd be West, cuz the best side is the West Side baby!
If I were a piece of furniture, I'd be a love sack...google it ;)
If I were a liquid, I'd be a SoBe No Fear. Love me or hate me.
If I were a gemstone, I'd be aquamarine. Or a blue diamond.
If I were a tree, I'd be a sequoia...It's hard to change me, and I stick around for a long time...
If I were a plant, I'd be a single rose, growing out of a crack in the sidewalk.
If I were a kind of weather, I'd be what comes right after the calm before the storm...the wind, the clouds, the smell, the density of the air...
If I were a musical instrument, I'd be a violin.
If I were a color, I'd be slate blue...kinda graphite and blue mixed.
If I were an emotion, I'd be love and depression.
If I were a fruit, I'd be a pear.
If I were a sound, I'd be a comforting word...or a kick in the rear.
If I were an element, I'd be fire.
If I were a car, I would be a Dodge Charger.
If I were a food, I’d be a sizzling fajita...hot and spicy, but oh so good ;)
If I were a material, I'd be leather...smooth, but tough and rugged if needed.
If I were a scent, I'd be: Currently? Axe Instinct.
If I were an object, I'd be a yo-yo...up and down...up and down...
If I were a facial expression I'd be blank.
If I were a song, I'd be Don't Stay by Linkin Park, and/or Broken Vow by Josh Groban and/or My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion. But probably My Immortal by Evanescence
If I were a pair of shoes, I’d be dance shoes...black leather, nicely fitted...so smooth on that floor ;)
If I were a relationship status, I'd be complicated...why? Because relationships are.
If I were a kiss, I'd be nothing approved...but it would be good. "You" would like it...
If I were a smile, I'd be given to someone for a certain reason, at the right time.

This was actually kinda fun...

face palm

2010-01-19T10:16:00.000-05:00

Don't kill me...please? I know, I know...I'm going against all my principles of web design...I added music to my blog. Yikes! Horrors. Don't know how long it will last, kinda depends on the feedback I get I guess. And how slow it makes my blog. Right now it seems to be loading ok, but if it starts slowing down then I will probably take the music off again. And hey...let me know what kind of music you like, I'll take it under consideration and maybe I'll add it. If you post a link from playlist.com in the comments then I will be more likely to add it...just sayin'.

That's all I have to say.

Striving for Glory

2010-01-18T12:03:00.000-05:00

God's glory, that is. Here at school we have accountability groups that meet every Monday morning, and part of what we do is summarize the last week in a word, and try to look forward and summarize the next week in a word. My word for last week was "refocus." It seemed fitting, as the last week was about refocusing what I depend on, what I need, where my focus is placed, and all of that. Looking forward to this week, I chose the word "malleable." My prayer for this week is that I would be shaped, sculpted by God, re-formed, molded into what He wants me to be. I don't know right now if God has something drastic in mind for me or if it will be something small. All that I know is that I need to be open to whatever He is going to do.

Sarah and Judith are back which is awesome, I went to watch the Colts-Ravens game at the McCray's on Saturday and the Colts won, which was awesome, and I have had a couple of really good talks with a couple of different people about what's been going on with me here at school, which was really good. So overall, the past few days have actually been more of a blessing than anything else.

Western Civilizations I class started today, with Dr. Bill Federer. He's a great teacher, and this is a very interesting subject. Should be a fun class.

Friends, what can I say...I can only say it so many ways. Thank you all so much for understanding where I'm at right now, and being willing to encourage me and lift me up, but not afraid to challenge me on things that I need to change. Love you all and I thank God for you!

An update on life...

2010-01-15T21:26:00.000-05:00

Ok...so I really like Wordle at the moment...it really is a lot of fun. Right now I'm kinda just in a blue funk over life. I'll get over it eventually, I always do. But until then it's gonna be pretty bad. If you see me moping around, or just avoiding people in general it's ok. I'm not angry with anyone, I'm not mad at anyone, I just need time to think and study Scripture for awhile. Over the past few weeks God has really hit me with a lot, and I've not been ready for it. It's been really hard for me to adjust to being back at school, with all the rules, all the things that I'm not allowed to do and the limits on what I can do. I thought that I could be who I am, but after a couple of talks with someone I've realized that I've got to either change who I am or I've got to change what I do while I'm at school. Either way it's going to be really hard. I know that I can change what I do temporarily - I've done it before. It's not been easy, but I've done it. I know that I can't change who I am, that only God can do that. I don't know if that's what God wants me to do or not. I'm really confused right now.

Since I've come to school I've felt very spiritual oppressed. I'm really missing the people who were here last semester who aren't back yet, like Taylor, Whitney, Judith, and Sarah. Di Iulio too, and he's not even coming back. It's been really, really rough for me and a lot of others. I've developed friendships with people that maybe I shouldn't have developed right now, but I feel like I've not done anything wrong either. My mind hasn't been this messed up since last March, and that's saying something. It took me 9 months to get over that. I can't afford 9 months this time.

God is trying to teach me something, but I'm not sure what yet. He is bringing me back through lessons and trials that I've already gone through - He is making me relive situations in my mind that I can't change, that I can't go back and undo, that I can only think about. I'm either going to go insane, or I'm going to grow from this. I want to grow from this, but it is so hard!

My prayer is that I would be clay in the Master Potter's hands, that I would be a lamb following the Shepherd, that I would be a pillar of stone in the Sculptor's hands. Do I want to ask to be broken? I've asked before...it hurt so bad. Can I go through that again? I guess that the only way that I was able to endure last time was through Christ in me - it wasn't my strength, but Christ's in me.

So many thoughts swirling around in my head...I could keep writing for hours. This will do for now, I guess. Please pray for me, pray for wisdom, pray for insights into God's word, and pray for mental clarity. This is gonna be really hard.

I love each and every one of you so much.

World Religions and Wordle...a great combo...

2010-01-08T11:02:00.001-05:00

So many "-isms" it's hard to keep track of...maybe this graphic will help! Seriously though, World Religions has been a lot of fun, and I'm looking forward to the self study time next week. I've got a lot of ideas for what to study, and I'm going to be doing a ton of reading! I've got some homework I still need to finish, some practice tests I still need to take, but class is almost over for today and I'm going home for the weekend and I was able to have a good talk with Gracie last night that was really encouraging and I've been having way to much fun with TwitStats and Wordle. And yeah. I'm just a little hyper...I'm looking forward to ice skating with my family this weekend, I'm gonna be working on the missions newsletter with Vicki tonight/tomorrow, and I've pretty much settled that "resistance is useless" because God is in control of my life and it's no use trying to do anything outside of His will, because I've given Him total control and I'm not gonna take it back. Praise God for all that He has done in my life in the past few months, and pray for me that I would continue to grow, and continue to depend on Him for my strength. I didn't have much of a break after last semester because I was working full time, and my next break between now and the end of May is only a week, so I know that school is gonna get really hard in a month or two. I switched majors officially, so I'm now doing English (should be a lot of fun!)

Love you all, and may God make His face to shine upon you, may you see His hand in your lives always.

Confucius say...

2010-01-07T09:54:00.003-05:00

Man who cut self while shaving, lose face.
Don't drink and park - accidents cause people.
House without toilet is uncanny.
Man who eats photo of father, soon spitting-image of father.
Man who pushes piano down mineshaft get tone of A flat miner.
Man who sneezes without tissue takes matters in his own hands.
Wise man never play leapfrog with unicorn.
Man who walk in middle of road get run over by bus.
Man who fall in vat of molten glass make spectacle of self.
Man who crosses the ocean twice without washing is a dirty double crosser.
Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out.
Woman who puts detergent on top shelf, jump for Joy
Man who live in glass house, dress in basement.
Man with no legs bums around.
Man who smoke pot choke on handle.
Man who put head on Rail Road track to listen for train likely to end up with splitting headache.
He who stand on toilet, high on pot.
He who eat cookie in bed, will wake up feeling crumby.
He who eat ice cream in car is a Sundae Driver.
He who put face in punch bowl get punch in nose.
He who stick head in open window get pane in neck.
He who stick head in oven get baked bean.
If you turn an oriental around, he become disoriented.
Man who abuse his computer get bad bytes!
Man who drop watch in whisky is wasting time.
Man who jump off cliff jump to conclusion!
Man who sit on hot stove will rise again.
Man who sit on tack get point!

Yeah...World Religions class...studying Confucianism today...really couldn't help myself...

Over already?

2010-01-03T02:33:00.000-05:00

In some ways break has been way too long, yet in others it seems like I was just saying goodbye to all my classmates a few days ago. God has been continuing to work in me, and I'm excited to see what God has been doing in their lives over break.

I should be packing right now, actually, I should have been done packing and have moved my stuff earlier today but as usual I just decided to start the semester with an all-nighter and pack all my stuff tonight. Brilliant, I know. You don't have to applaud or anything.

Anyway...I'm just thinking...lot's of things running through my head for this next year ;)

Love you all.

2010 and counting...

2010-01-01T00:43:00.000-05:00

2010...wow. Looking back it seems like just yesterday that I was celebrating the new millennium. How time flies...so much has happened. I have loved and lost, I have been in high school and college, I've worked part time and full time, I've made friends and lost friends, I've thrown hours and hours away on Facebook and I've deleted my account. So many different experiences, so much time wasted, yet when I look back on this last year I can hardly believe that I have actually done so much.

If I were asked to describe this past year in one phrase, I would say that "God is sufficient." He is sufficient, not just for what I need, but over and beyond. So much has been given to me - and so much has been required. God is good.

As I look forward to this new year, the year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Ten, I am eager to be where God wants me to be, doing what He wants me to do, being who God wants me to be. I want to continue to live a life of prayer and complete dependence on God for direction and guidance.

Happy New Year!

Number 4...and I'm done :)

2009-12-25T23:55:00.000-05:00

Well...that's that. Another Christmas over...already getting notices about how many days until NEXT Christmas (*cough*Stephanie*cough*). It was a good day...I don't want to dwell on what I got, so it should suffice to say that some needs of mine were met and it was a great blessing. I will remember the look on my little bro's face when he opened up his puppet's box...it was priceless. I'm pretty well exhausted, but you know how it is...back into the swing of things tomorrow. As far as I know I'm not working, which will be nice. Lord willing I will just work a couple of days next week and then head back to school.

I'm looking forward to the party at the Grimes' tomorrow night...it will be awesome in more ways than one. The fact that I was invited in the first place...yeah. It makes me happy... :)

I really miss all my peoples from school :'( and I'm really looking forward to seeing all of you again in just a week and a half! My how break has flown...and yet...it seems like forever. Oh well...that's just how it goes I guess.

Love you all, and for the last time...Merry Christmas!

Round Three...

2009-12-25T21:33:00.001-05:00

Spent quite a bit of time in the car...heading home now. We stayed out in New Castle from about 4 to 9ish with our relatives. Pretty much all we do is sit around and eat and (personally) talk to peoplle that I only talk to because they are family. Sure I love 'em, but what can I say...I'm a city boy stuck in the country, and my relatives pretty much define "country hicks." Anyway...I survived, and we are now driving home. I've decided that my new favorite soundtrack is from Titanic :) Some great dance music on there...it's definitely heart-throbber music...love it.

I'll try to post when I get home...if I don't pass out before I can ;)

Love y'all, Merry Christmas!

--------
By grace alone, through faith alone, because of Christ alone.

And the second follows the first...

2009-12-25T14:20:00.000-05:00

Do you ever think about how much your tastes change over the years? I mean...just a couple years ago I would have DIED if all I had gotten for Christmas was clothes, yet that was all that I was hoping for this year...though I guess it has a lot to do with what you really need, if you actually need something. Anyway, Christmas morning was a blast, I got clothes and a huge box of JUNK FOOD to take with me to college next week :D Downloaded the Titanic Soundtrack...gonna zone out to that while we drive a couple hours...almost...to our relatives for Christmas dinner and hanging out. I'll be taking my guitar and 'Book, of course We'll see how the night goes. How did you fare? Did you get things that you need, or did you just get more STUFF that you wanted? Think about it...and hit up that comment button!

Merry Christmas!

The first, at the least...

2009-12-25T02:37:00.000-05:00

This is so me...I'm not asleep yet, why? No, it's not because I'm excited about the morning and opening presents and Christmas. Christmas is cool, but only cuz of Jesus. Everything else is because of Him. I only exist because of Him. No, I'm still awake just because I am...I talk to people...I twitter...I read...yeah idk I guess I feel like I don't have to do much tomorrow so I can exhaust myself tonight :)

This is just my "yeah so it's Christmas and I'm finally going to sleep" post. Oh, if you follow me on Twitter then you probably saw my post earlier, asking what love smells and sounds like. I got an awesome response from a friend of mine:

Love is...a newborn child placed in its parent's arms, a new puppy for a child, the sun after days of rain and gray skies. Love is having someone hurt you or themselves in the worst way and still being a beacon of hope to them, it's going through trials and coming out stronger. Love is eternal, indescribable, new old, a feeling, an action, a gain, a loss and is different for every person and the love you have for different people is unique and unexplainable. You don't fall out of love. Once you have truly loved a person you never ever stop loving them. Love. Love is one of the greatest and most terrible things ever. And the most difficult thing to explain but the simplest to show.

That's a pretty good description of (her words) worldly love, isn't it? What do you think love is?

Speaking of love...Love y'all, and Merry Christmas!

A Day of Rest

2009-12-13T10:55:00.001-05:00

"Six days shall you work..." and boy was God good to command us to rest on the seventh! I worked full time Monday through Friday and then got another full day of overtime yesterday. Good, hard work. My days have been full, the week has flown by, and Christmas break doesn't really seem like break. But God provided this job for me, I'm making good money for someone my age with no experience, and it's full time. Praise God for that! It's been rough working with these guys - I'm way out of my box with this job - but amazingly enough it's not as bad as my last job. The humor is crass and the language is bad, but not as bad as at my last job.

Enough about the job...God has been good, I'm being uplifted and encouraged at church today, and I'm going to hang out with some awesome friends this afternoon. I'm looking forward to dancing with my sister Tuesday night, Navy beat Army for the eighth consecutive time yesterday, I got some sweet music. I'm happy.

God bless you all!

--------
"In the darkness and the light/In the wrong and in the right/I will praise your name..." - Andrew Di Iulio

Just another update...

2009-12-09T18:58:00.000-05:00

The past few days have gone by in a blur...it made me stop and think -
for a moment - about how fast life will fly when I'm actually working
full time all the time, rather than just for a month. Only two more
days until the weekend, and the first 3 have gone by in a flash. It
seems like just yesterday was Sunday.

Anyway...life is full and fast but good. It was a blessing to get this
job, I needed a job that paid more than minimum wage and that would
give me full time hours, and that's what I got. So that's good. I'm
still praying about exactly what major I will switch to, but my
parent's and I are both sure that I will be switching. Right now my
parents think that I should major in both Journalism and English (go
back to school for another year) and I agree with them. The only thing
that we are still praying and deciding about is which major I should
get first...quite a quandary, right? I feel I should do Journalism and
then English, they feel I should do English first. However it works
out, I'm excited to be going back to school in January.

Another thing that I am praying about is going to the IHOP One Thing
Conference. I'd love to go, but God is gonna have to provide the funds/
transport etc for me to go. If He wants me there, He will do it. I'd
just appreciate prayer from y'all about that...thanks.

My dance partner Stephanie is going to the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota on
Sunday, and we are not sure how long she will be there. Lord willing
less than a week. She could use a lot of prayer. Her attacks haven't
been as sever as when we were dancing, but it does seem that whenever
she swing dances with me she has an attack...I've had to really take
it easy when I'm swinging and spinning her around. On that note, I
love to dance but when I'm worried about her it does make it hard to
have fun ;) So prayer for an extra measure of grace for me would be
awesome. She's like my sister, and it's hard when someone you love is
in a lot of pain, ya know?

My love to all of you, I'm praying for you all!

Disappearing from Facebook...and why.

2009-12-07T21:12:00.000-05:00

This post is in response to so many of my friends asking me why I deleted my Facebook account. To be clear, I don't think that Facebook is bad, evil, or entirely boring or a complete waste of time. Why did I then delete my account?

I prayed about it and it was what God wanted me to do.
While it was great to be able to connect to so many people, I feel that I was not able to invest quality time in people's lives - it's the difference between a group music lesson and a private lesson, or a group dance class and a private session.
After weighing the costs and benefits, the costs weighed more. It took up too much of my time for me to be able to justify it anymore. Yes, I could have spent less time, but from my point of view, now I'm not spending any time on Facebook!
The friends and family that I want to stay connected with or that want to stay in touch with me can still do so - by email, by IM, or by phone. I txt and have data on my phone, so I'm on my Yahoo! (thecityboy319) pretty much 24/7. I'm also on Twitter - and I'd love it if you followed me! I also have a new blog, just for pictures.
Now that I'm at college, I've realized that God has a plan not just for my life as a whole, but for each and every minute of every day. After prayer, and after having others pray with and for me, I decided to delete my Facebook account. I'm not disappearing. I'm gonna stay right here, blogging. I'm on Twitter. And you know what I've realized? Sometimes a good old-fashioned phone call is better than a hundred wall posts ;).

Those are my main reasons why, if you have a particular bone to pick, question to ask, or just wanna rant because I'm not on anymore - click away at that comment button. I'll answer you unless I think you're being a jerk about it...lol j/k. I'll answer unless you're just ranting and raving at me :).

Love y'all.

An answer to prayer.

2009-12-06T18:55:00.002-05:00

Today, this morning to be precise, God answered one of my greatest prayers. Natalie was baptized this morning. I've needed assurance ever since March that the whole relationship and breakup was worth it in God's greater plan - I've wanted proof that indeed "all things work together for the good of those who love him and are the called according to his purpose." I have striven to live according to His purpose for me for the past 9 months, and her testimony this morning proved to me that yes, all things do indeed work for good, when God's will is followed and obeyed. Yeah, I feel like I've had to go through hell. But I know for fact that she is saved, and is striving to live her life for her Savior. And that is sweeter than living my life with her could ever have been, outside of the Lord's will for me, and for her. God is good.

More thoughts on yesterday :)

2009-11-30T15:56:00.000-05:00

It was a huge blessing to be able to go to my old church yesterday. I was greatly encouraged and uplifted by the worship. The message was solid and beneficial. I don't know if it's where God wants me to end up or not, but it definitely seems like a possibility. There are a couple of other churches that I may try to visit, or I may put the whole thing on hold until after college - it's up to God. I'm just following His leading one day at a time.

I've been praying about changing my major, and God seems to be pointing in that direction so far. I'm going to call some people later today or tomorrow, and get their advice and prayer support, and then keep praying for a week. I'll make a decision next week, and give the ol' school a call depending on what God leads.

Drove down to Louisville today to take my sisters to their harp testing, and I'm about to head back home. It's been a long day...prayer for my alertness and safety on the drive home would be awesome!

Love y'all.

More to come...

2009-11-29T12:41:00.004-05:00

This is my life. Pretty much all I need is right here, with me right now. iPod, MacBook, guitar, headphones, messenger bag, journal, Mountain Dew. Not in that order, but you get the idea.

My goal is to get back into mobile blogging. I used to post random stuff for no reason that was really lame. To repeat that is not part of my goal. I'm also trying to get away from Facebook, so I intend to post more often here.

Going back to my old church was good. I saw some old friends, recognized a lot of people, and was blessed and encouraged by the teaching. I want to go again next week, when the Sunday School is going again. Today as a fellowship day because of Thanksgiving.

All things considered, it's been a good day so far. I'm looking forward to hanging with some of my best friends for the rest of the day, probably play some guitar, maybe go to Starbucks. A good day.

All ye mah peoples - I love you. Have an awesome life and don't be stupid.

What's on my mind...

2009-11-28T23:54:00.001-05:00

There's an awful lot on my mind, it being Christmas break and all...it kinda sucks, actually. First off, coming home was great. It really was. It was spectacular that we were gonna have close to a hundred people over for Thanksgiving. But starting "break" by running errands, driving my siblings around, and cleaning the house was not what I had in mind. Be that as it may, God was able to use me in spite of myself and people had a wonderful time, including myself.

Over the past week, and tonight, God's put on my heart several things to pray about, and I would really appreciate prayer from all my friends as well. At school, I've been surrounded by Godly men and women, I've gone to an awesome church where God's word is taught in a way that I have to think through and digest and can grow from, and I have grown. I've been given not just meat, but awesome, expensive, top cut steak. Going back to my old church just isn't cutting it. It's like the difference between that steak and a cheeseburger. Sure, it's meat - but the quality and content just isn't the same. Over the past year I've become discontent at my church. I thought it was me, that I was missing something, that my heart was closed because of an issue in my life. I've found out that it's not me, it's my church, and it's not just me who's noticed, but several of my friends feel the same way.

All that to say, I'm praying about switching churches. Tomorrow I'm gonna go back to my old church and see where they are at. I'm gonna spend the day hanging out with my best friend and brother in Christ. We'll talk and pray together.

Tonight I started talking with my mom about a lot of things concerning school. I'll just mention a couple things here. First we talked about how I need a job, and about how my boss forgot to put me on the schedule next week. Oops. I could really use the money - I'm broke and have no clothes (seriously...only 3 pairs of pants total), but I know that God will give me all that I need and I am content with that. We talked about opportunities that I could take advantage of, including journalism opportunities - freelance writing etc. Which brought up another topic...why I want to be in Criminal Justice. And I don't know anymore.

I wanted to be in Law Enforcement. I don't remember why. I had reasons. I thought that was where God wanted me. Now I don't know. I'm praying for, and asking others to pray for me as well, wisdom as to whether I should switch my major. I could switch to Journalism and then a double in English, or in English and then a double in Journalism. Or whatever God wants. I just don't know anymore. I believe that God wants me to be on Staff at Verity after I graduate. I also believe that He wants me to be in ministry after I graduate, and while I'm in school. I know He has plans for me, but right now I don't know what to do.

Pray for me. Pray for my parents. We need wisdom, direction, and guidance. I have physical needs, things that I really do need. Pray for God's provision in whatever form it takes. But, most of all, pray that my heart would be pure before the Lord, that I would praise and worship Him always, and that I would be given blessings that I may bless others.

It's up...

2009-11-27T22:19:00.001-05:00

It's up! You can check out my new picture blog here. Let me know what you think, what I can do to make it better, what kind of pictures you'd like to see, what you'd like me to link to, what kind of media you'd like to see in addition to pictures, whatever.

Love y'all.

Gonna start a pic blog...

2009-11-27T14:49:00.000-05:00

Yeah so Facebook is getting really, really lame, boring, and annoying. I've already stopped posting statuses (should that be stati?) and have not really done much at all on FB lately. Pretty much the only reason for me being on FB is to see people's pictures and to post pictures myself. If I want to chat with anyone I can either txt them or IM them from one of my many accounts. I've even got two phone numbers, for goodness sake. I don't really have time anymore to keep up with all of it. So, after much convincing from some friends at school, and a good long survey of http://ramblingsofacoffeeaddict.blogspot.com, I have decided to create another blog, dedicated primarily to photos and pictures. It will definitely be linked to from here, don't worry.

Cheerio!

Psalms 20:4

2009-11-19T17:12:00.000-05:00

Over the past semester I've been messing around with a chord progression that I was sure I had heard in some song somewhere, but I hadn't been able to find the song. In the past week and a half, and the past few days especially, I've worked on composing a song with these chords, changing how I play them, what order, the rhythm, etc. Making it my own song.

After I got the chords and some semblance of a tune in my head, I began looking for words to put to "my song." I wasn't finding any inspiration, and I was getting busy studying for my next test (American Literature), so I didn't think about it much today.

I took my practice test a couple of hours ago, and I didn't do any where close to how well I wanted - I was aiming for a 75-80%, and I got 57%. A passing score, but not an amazing score. Feeling a little down, I wandered down the hall, and stopped to talk to a couple of other students, in the same class, and Rebekah Johnson, a staff member. Rebekah encouraged me to study some more, but above all to spend time in Scripture, studying God's word. I took her advice, and grabbed my guitar and started searching Scripture.

Apparently randomly, my searches led me to Psalms 20, specifically verse 4, and well...the song below is the result. It was totally God...He put the words and the tune together, and He's given me a lot of peace about the test tomorrow as well. Praise God!

O Lord, grant me, grant me

My heart's desire.

O Lord, grant me, grant me

My heart's desire.

O Lord, O

O Lord!

O Lord, fulfill, fulfill

All Your plans.

O Lord, fulfill, fulfill

All Your plans.

In me, Lord

Through You!

Am I good? It doesn't matter, God is better!

2009-10-05T10:47:00.000-04:00

Back to the blog...I've been busy. This past weekend was a lot of fun in spite of the rain and rather cool weather. The Verity guys (most of them anyway) camped near some state park in Michigan, on Lake Michigan, with some dunes. It was cool...but it wasn't the ocean. The water was about 40-45 degrees (Fahrenheit). We went swimming anyway. The wind was kicking up a bit, making some waves. It was fun...once I got over the freezing!

Life here at school is pretty awesome. There are a lot of amazing people here, actually, pretty much everybody here is amazing. So far God has been good to me and has helped me to pass my tests well, with good scores.

My prayer for this week is that God would help me to use my time wisely, to study when I need to study and to have fun when i need to have fun, but most of all to spend as much time as possible with Him, whether it is in prayer or reading His Word.

Just a thought this morning...

2009-09-13T13:56:00.001-04:00

This post isn't intended to be insanely deep or crazy long or anything...it's just something God brought to my attention during church today.

In Ephesians 5:1-5, God has a little "compare and contrast" section.

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness or nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.

God is giving us a sharp distinction between the love of God (vs. 1-2) and the love that the world has (vs. 3-5). God's love is sacrificial, and concentrated on the good of others. The world's form of love is concentrated on self - what I can get for myself, how I can gratify myself.

Just thought I'd share that ;-)

For what it's worth...

2009-09-10T12:00:00.001-04:00

"All things are lawful," but not all things are helpful. "All things are lawful," but not all things build up. Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor. Eat whatever is sold in the meat market without raising question on the ground of conscience. For "the earth is the Lord's, and the fullness thereof." If one of the unbelievers invites you to dinner and you are disposed to go, eat whatever is set before you without raising any question on the ground of conscience. But if someone says to you, "This has been offered in sacrifice," then do not eat it, for the sake of the one who informed you, and for the sake of conscience -- I do not mean your conscience, but his. For why should my liberty be determined by someone else's conscience? If I partake with thankfulness, why am I denounced because of that for which I give thanks? So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. Give no offense to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God, just as I try to please everyone in everything I do , not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved. Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ. -- I Corinthians 10:23-33

God has given me freedom in many areas, but He has been showing me over the past few weeks that although I may have freedom in these areas, out of respect for another brother or sister's conscience I should refrain from exercising this freedom. As I was reading this passage today, just a few minutes ago, I totally missed that last little sentence. "Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ." This sums it all up, doesn't it? If I am constantly imitating Christ, then I will be able to exercise freedom. But part of imitating Christ is refraining from exercising all of the freedom that I have been given. It's a radical thought for me, and for most Christians here in America. Have we not been taught from our early childhood that freedom is what our country was founded upon? As a homeschooled kid, I was taught that this freedom is given by God. I was taught that we have God-given rights, including the right to be free. It's radical that as a Christian I am supposed to limit my freedom. Would it not have been easier if God had just laid down the law, if He had just said what we can and can't do?

Up at Journey we studied different "bad" or "evil" heart attitudes. Part of one of the hearts was the fact that in order not to have this heart, we will have to limit ourselves. I hate lines, I hate rules, I hate being told what to do. But God is not demanding - that's the beauty of free will. Yet, as we are told in James, our faith in God is demonstrated by our works. My love of God should be enough to overcome what I want to do, to the point that I no longer want to gratify myself but to glorify God in everything that I do.

Staying here at Verity for the past week has been amazing. Going up to the Northwoods in Michigan was something that allowed me to both bond with my fellow students and to spend a great amount of time alone with God. Today instead of class before lunch Charity Larson told all of us students to just spend an hour alone with God. This post is one of the things that has stemmed from that. Where else, what other college can you go to that would skip class in order to spend time alone with God?

God is good indeed.

Prayer and the Power to do God's Will

2009-09-08T10:41:00.001-04:00

The following is the essay that I was required to write during orientation this week, concerning what God taught me during the Journey to the Heart.

"Leading up to this Journey, I was excited about going back up to the Northwoods, I was excited of the opportunities I was going to have to be out in His creation, but most of all I was looking forward to the time I was going to be able to spend alone with Him, praying and hearing Him.

The time that I spent with my fellow students, in my Journey group, was amazing but it was nothing to equal what God had in mind for me. I was able to fellowship with God in a way that I have never done before. God was near me last week, speaking to me for as long as I was willing to listen.

The first day I concentrated on getting my heart right with God. Over the past few weeks God had done great things in my life, but there were still a couple areas to clear up. I spent as much time alone with God as I could, in prayer and just listening. I asked Him to give me the answers to a couple of things, and was just waiting for Him to answer me.

Thursday afternoon my group split up for alone prayer time. I started walking with my Bible and binder, but ended up setting them aside as they were just distracting me from talking with my Creator, Father, and Friend. I had a certain place that I wanted to go, the hills that are pretty much the highest point around the Lodge, but I asked something of God. I knew that it was a very visible place, but I didn't want anyone to see me. I asked Him to either make me invisible, not noticed, or to make people move. I didn't know it at the time, but I had passed one of my brothers on my way up and he told me later that shortly after I passed he got up and left. A coincidence? I believe it was a direct answer to my prayer.

Up on that hill, I gave everything that I had been keeping from God to Him completely and unreservedly. I had given almost everything to Him, but He showed me that there were certain areas that I was still holding back. One area was music. I had purposed several months ago to only listen to music that honored Him, but at Northwoods God showed me that I was choosing what was glorifying, rather than following His word.

God did some amazing things in my life up at Journey, but the coolest thing that He told me, that I learned from Him, was the day after we got back, Sunday night. I had asked God to give me a mission purpose for the next year, as He gave me last year about this time. He didn't answer me while on the Journey. But as I was praying along with several other guys on Sunday night, God spoke to me and told me what purpose He has for me for the next year! It was awesome to know that God is still speaking to me, as I am with Him.

The greatest thing I learned or was taught on this Journey is the power of prayer and how important it is to everything that I do, and how important prayer is in discerning the Lord's will for my life. During Journey I was constantly praying, and have continued since we got back. God keeps on giving me instruction for what to do, when I need to know. I am awed that He is answering me, and I intend to keep on talking to my Father for a long time to come. My Heavenly Father is all-knowing, and with His wisdom available for me I will never fail so long as I stay close to Him in prayer."

C&C Retreat '09 - Guy's Session - Brent Aucoin

2009-07-18T11:54:00.000-04:00

Guys are supposed to be leaders -- one of my God-given purposes as a man.

Genesis
    ⁃    Chaos (In the beginning, God created a mess)
    ⁃    Formless
    ⁃    Empty
    ⁃    Dark
    ⁃    God changed the chaos into cosmology by His word
    ⁃    Why? Why this way? (Chaos to cosmos by His Word)
    ⁃    [Only God can decrease entropy from chaos.]
    ⁃    [Part of God's plan.]
    ⁃    God does this all the time - He brings people from chaos into order (following His will) by His Word
    ⁃    "Image/Likeness" [In the Ancient Near East, these exact same terms are used by the kings when erecting statues - we are images of God's rule here on Earth!]
    ⁃    Visible representative of the invisible God
    ⁃    Babel -- (confusion) Mankind confused their purpose -- they were representing themselves rather than God
    ⁃    If I am trying to please myself, representing myself rather than God, it will only end of in chaos and confusion.
    ⁃    As a representative of God, my first thought needs to be just that. When a girl sees me her first thought shouldn't be "Cute guy," but "Image of God."
Exodus
    ⁃    Priests of God [representative of God/mediator]
Hebrews/John
    ⁃    Christ is the "exact imprint" of God -- He is the exact representation of the invisible God
I Peter
    ⁃    Chosen race, royal priesthood, holy nation [still the visible representative of the invisible God]
    ⁃    Specific set of behaviors

When does a boy become a man?
1. Spiritual maturity sufficient to lead a wife and children.
    - Samson was definitely not ready to lead. Am I? When will I be ready?
        - Bible reading, prayer. Good place to start.
2. Personal maturity sufficient to be a responsible husband and father.
    - Unless I am gifted with celibacy, I am going to be a husband and father. Channels what God has given me to invest myself in my wife and children.
3. Economic maturity sufficient to hold an adult job and handle money.
    - How am I using my money? Am I saving? Am I spending i on pleasure?
4. Physical maturity sufficient to work and protect a family.
5. Sexual maturity sufficient to marry and fulfill God's purposes.
    - Don't confuse the purpose of sex. It is vital that it only happens in marriage. [Chaos and confusion if this gift is used outside of marriage.]
6. Moral maturity sufficient to lead as example of righteousness.
7. Ethical maturity sufficient to make responsible decisions.
8. Worldview maturity sufficient to understand what is really important.
9. Relational maturity sufficient to understand and respect others.
10. Social maturity sufficient to make a contribution to society.
    - Serve in my church now -- if I can't do this now, am I going to do this when I am married?
11. Verbal maturity sufficient to communicate and articulate as a man.
12. Character maturity sufficient to demonstrate courage under fire.
13. Biblical maturity sufficient to lead at some level in the church.

Session One from the C&C Retreat '09 - Brent Aucoin

2009-07-18T10:41:00.002-04:00

Wow it's been a long time since I posted...here goes. Lord willing I will be starting up more regularly again.

Background...
    •    The person of Samson is the climax of the cycle failure of God's people in the book of Judges.
    •    The "climax" is one of a great tragedy in that Samson is clueless to his special calling even though God continues to give him opportunities to see what he s supposed to be.
    •    Instead, Samson is self absorbed with his sexual appetites and lusts.
    •    Samson whose name means "sun like" or "light" ironically ends up in the "dark" as he is blinded in the end as testimony to his spiritual blindness manifested through much of his life.
    •    Samson also represents the deterioration of the entire population of God's people at that time.
    •    Then, God's people, just like their "deliverer" Samson, were blind to their special calling of God to be god's light to the nations as a people -- even though God had constantly prodded them and had been gracious to them.

Judges 13
Manoah's wife did not tell her husband everything that the Angel of the Lord told her -- she did not tell him that Samson was to "begin to deliver Israel."

- Samson had a special calling and a special set of behaviors (he was a Nazirite from birth) but he did not know his purpose. What would I do if I didn't know my purpose when the day that I was to fulfill it comes?

Samson has no clue what his purpose is (Judges 14) but God is working every turn of the story for His purpose for Samson -- through Samson's desire for the Philistine woman God is going to begin to deliver Israel.

Samson's focus is always on pleasing himself. After every encounter with the Philistines, Samson always heads toward the woman -- his focus is wrong.

Samson and Delilah -- Samson gives into Delilah although he won't give in to the Lord's purpose for him.

Samson's strength was not in his hair -- his strength cam from the Lord, but the Lord left Samson when his hair was cut off.

What were the dangers of Samson not understanding and not living for his special purpose? What are the dangers of us not grasping our scripturally defined purpose?

With no purpose (or no understanding of purpose) my life could be just like a Saturday with no objective -- I will end up self absorbed and in defiance of God's plan for me.

An Update...

2009-04-23T21:10:00.002-04:00

Don't have anything special on my mind really. I just figured that it was about time for an update on my random thoughts and musings. I've been working on math for Verity, and while I am definitely not enjoying it, it is at least not torture. I have only to pass this class and then I have high hopes that I will not need to do another math class for the duration of my higher education. One can always hope.

I went to see David Barton speak the other night. It was the first time I have seen him in person, this was only his second trip to Indiana in 6 years. It was a very encouraging, energizing speech.

What else is up with life? Let's see...Yeah I'm over that, I'm looking forward to hanging with my friends this summer, I had a fun time at the nursing home last night (I had the same conversation - with a very nice old lady who also happened to be both diabetic and Irish - four times in a row), and I'm almost done with school for the semester. I am hoping to work full time this summer, or do some further CLEP tests. And that's about it...I will be going to the Nashville ATI Conference at the end of May and will surely post from that, but I am sure I will post between now and then.

Just messing around...

2009-04-05T14:03:00.000-04:00

Was just messing around with the GIMP...been awhile since I came up with anything new. I like the "Cracked" font that my friend has...unfortunately it is Mac-only, so I can't use it at home. Until I get my own Mac...soon, oh so soon.

Just some random thoughts...comments...whatever.

2009-04-02T00:13:00.001-04:00

I know that God has a purpose for me. He has a very specific purpose for me. I don't know what that is, but I know that it exists and that He will guide me. God has a way of letting me go about my life, walking along the path before me, and following the curves. But whenever there is a fork in the road, I usually seem to start down the wrong path, toward the wrong open door. When I get to the door, THEN God slams it shut in my face. He did that when I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes - I had planned to go into the military, to be in the Navy and go to the Naval Academy like my dad. He shut another door very recently when the woman that I thought I was going to marry ended our relationship forever. It hurts when He does that. But in the pain I can see that He is guiding me, and I have peace in the knowledge that He has a plan for me, that is for my good and His glory.

Something else recent is my name change...it's not really a change, just a different nickname. "Alex" gets kinda old after all these years. I have a friend who went to Scotland last year; when she got back she started calling me "Sandy." So there you have the origin of the name. Why, you may ask, do I want to change my name? I have no clue. But I do, and I would love it if everyone would start calling me "Sandy" instead of "Alex." Anyway...

I've had a lot going on in my life recently. I'm not sure where I am headed, but I know that God has a plan for me. I find it amazing how God can use the same verse in so many ways. My life verse has kept me going for the past few weeks, as God has brought to my attention different applications for it:

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." -- Jeremiah 29:11

Notes and Thoughts - GMAA Session 4

2009-03-14T15:00:00.000-04:00

Alex and Brett Harris

What is the difference between the challenges of my childhood and the challenges I am facing now?

The challenges are equal. (They have equal difficulty.)

The real question is "How do I respond differently?" [or How am I responding differently]

The older we get the easier it is for us to excuse ourselves for things - i.e., "I'm just not a math person." This immediately stems from the low expectations that exist for teens in this culture - if it was expected then the difficulty would be overcome.

God is not glorified when I do not overcome the difficulties He puts in my life.
In order to grow I must continue to overcome difficulties. (Muscles grow stronger when you work them out.)

What is the "do hard things mentality"?

Fighting sin in my life.
The right thing is harder than the wrong thing.
Battling discouragement and complacency.
God has designed my spiritual strength to grow by exertion.
Doing more than what is required.
Getting over my fear of failure.
It looks different for each person.
It is different for men and women.
Most often means doing the small things.
The things that most people will not see.
Is my best life.
Not my easiest - the best is not the easiest nearly every time.

Notes and Thoughts - GMAA Elective 1

2009-03-14T11:15:00.002-04:00

[Need to add the speaker name]

Culture's View

The culture teaches that gender is learned, not innate.
The culture also teaches that sex is for pleasure and has nothing to do with God.
The culture teaches marriage, it is not an institute ordained by God.
What is the solution to this view infiltrating the church? Glorify God through His design.

Biblical View

Gender is something I am before anything else.
Sex is first of all for God's glory - it was not just created by God, it was commanded by Him!
Marriage is not a cultural phenomenon, it is a universal truth given and blessed by God. (A man is to love his wife as Christ loves the Church - I need to take this seriously)
Marriage is a little example of the Gospel for the world to see enacted in the relationship between a Christian man and his wife.

Notes and Thoughts - GMAA Session 3

2009-03-14T09:45:00.000-04:00

Alex and Brett Harris

"The Myth of Adolescence"

Elephant example of "shackles around the mind"
The word "teenager" has been around only since 1941 - less than 70 years!
Adolescence as it is viewed today has been around for about 100 years. Basically labor laws took teens out of the workforce and mandatory schooling was instituted. A whole portion of the population was taken from the role of producer to consumer. Expectations were lowered - both virtually non-existent.

"The ceiling is where the floor should be."

Notes and Thoughts - GMAA Session 2

2009-03-13T22:36:00.000-04:00

Dr. R. Albert Mohler
Questions define a faithful Christian, and ignoring these questions show a "flickering" faith.
Romans 11:33 - 12:2

When I see the word "therefore" I need to look at the previous verses to see what the context is.
I need to reboot spiritually every once in awhile, 'cuz just like my computer I eventually overload and my mind just starts spinning.
Knowing the will of God is part of my responsibility as a Christian, and finding the Lord's will is a never-ending process.
The will of God is not:

A game He is playing with me.
Like buried treasure that I am supposed to find.
A puzzle that I am supposed to put together when I get the pieces.
A mystery that I must accept.
Something that I am not supposed to like.

It is God's will:

That I should be born. There is a purpose for my life.
That it is God's will for me to eventually die - unless Christ returns first.
That I was born male.
That I will go through different life stages.
That I obey God's Word.
That I obey all authorities - civil, parental, church.
That I believe in Christ.
That I do everything for God's glory.
That I get married or am given the gift of celibacy to do the work of God.
That I share the Gospel.
That I be faithful to my church - serving faithfully.
That I strengthen the church, make a difference in the world, and in every role and relationship show the glory of God.

I already know most of God's will.
I won't find just by thinking, but by doing.
If it's God's will then to change even a small part of it would be to mar the perfection of His perfect plan.

Notes and Thoughts - GMAA Session 1

2009-03-13T20:20:00.002-04:00

Dr. Russel D. Moore

1 John 3:10-18

It is not an unusual experience in today's culture for young people to be in love with love. This is not surprising because in the world love means so many things.
John writes of love as war between children of God and the children of the Devil.
John is saying that we as children of God need to be alert to the fact that we are in a constant war with temptation.
This is at the heart of the Gospel - how I know I am a child of God. If I love my brother - not "have feelings of love" but show by my actions that I am looking to Christ as my example for how to live a life that shows my love for my brothers and sisters in Christ.
I am not to act like Cain - live in hatred of others because I know that there actions are right and my actions are wrong.
This is a manifestation of guilt.
I am also to not be surprised when the world hates me for what I do. When I am following Christ I am declaring war on the accepted culture. I am a "rebelutionary" for Christ.
Satan would rather that I not think about my faith - he would rather that I just go along in life without being a radical. When I become a rebelutionary, Satan will exert greater power to bring me down.
If I love Jesus then I am to love my brothers and sisters in Christ - if I don't then I am committing murder in God's eyes.
I can base my definition on what I feel or on the culture around me, but this definition can easily be twisted.
Love is giving myself up for another - for my brothers and sisters in Christ.
What are people going to say about me in 20 years? Are they going to remember me as being a strong Christian or as someone who talked the talk buy doesn't walk the walk?
I should be preparing myself now for my future wife and children (Lord willing).
Am I willing to pour myself out for others? Am I concerned that there is a sentence of death on those that I know who are unsaved, or am I content that I am taken care of?

Heading out soon...

2009-03-13T10:08:00.000-04:00

I will be heading out soon for the Give Me An Answer Conference at Boyce College in Louisville, KY. This will be my third time going to this conference. I'm looking forward to this year, as the Harris brothers (Alex and Brett) will be the keynote speakers. The breakout sessions look like they will be good as well. I will post up my notes when I get back.

If that is what it takes, God...then so be it.

2009-03-04T22:32:00.001-05:00

Recently I had the opportunity to watch the movie Fireproof. It is a very powerful, convicting movie.

It isn't often that I watch a movie and it changes my whole mindset...that the movie "speaks" to me, if you will. In fact, I don't think that I have ever been impacted by another movie in even close to the level that this movie hit me. Over the past two years, God has gotten my attention in various ways when I start drifting away from Him. I believe that He is using the events in my life right now to get my focus back where it belongs. I have taken my eyes off of my Savior in the past few months, and that has to change.

[Warning: Spoiler about the movie Fireproof]

In the movie, the main character, "Caleb" is having marital problems with his wife. The relationship that he thought he and his wife has is gone - it had been based on feelings that were rather dormant or even nonexistent now. The main point of the movie is that only when Caleb "finds God" and establishes a relationship with Him does his marriage start to get better. When Caleb's wife becomes a Christian as well then they are able to build their relationship with each other, within their relationship with Christ.

The movie brought home the fact to me that my focus had not been on God, and on building my relationship with God. I had let my focus wander off of God and was trying to establish a relationship on my own. I realize now that that sort of relationship is wrong.

In the past few weeks I've come a long way. I have much work to do, I have much time to spend in God's Word before I will be able to discern God's will for my life, but I know one thing. I am God's, He is mine, and when I stay in God's will He will protect, guide, and care for me through my life. No matter what the future may hold, God is my guide, He is my compass, and I will follow Him.

New video...Win7 or KDE4?

2009-02-13T11:24:00.003-05:00

New video up below...and the title of this post links to the related article. It is so true...people don't know one operating system from another unless it is the one that they use...sad, but true. *People meaning your average person on the street.

Couldn't resist...

2009-01-29T12:47:00.020-05:00

I keep up to date with TUAW, Switched, and Engadget, and every once in awhile up will come a video that is somehow related to something in the tech world. I have seen the jubilee on 50 kid's faces after unwrapping a Nintendo Wii, I have seen the consequences of being associated with a dancing, singing woman on a Segway, and I have seen various DIY videos on modding cases or building electronics. The video ~~above~~ below just hit me as so funny that I honestly couldn't resist putting it up myself...Bill Gates completely endorsing Apple...awesome. Let me know what you think in the comments :-D.

Life ahead...

2009-01-11T16:49:00.001-05:00

I was at the Verity Institute campus for Dual Enrollment Orientation Friday afternoon until Saturday evening. Being there, beginning classes, meeting people, seeing the students study...made me think about what I need to do over the next few years in order to accomplish God's goals for me.

As part of this semester with Verity I will be going through the Life Purpose Planning material. In the meantime, however, I have just been thinking about what the Lord wants me to do, what my options are. Right now I trust that He wants me to take courses from Verity. In the future I believe that He wants me to pursue a Criminal Justice degree with Verity, but what after that? I talked with one of the other student's dad while I was on campus. He had a Criminal Justice degree, and had spent 28 years in various aspects of Law enforcement. Much of that time was spent in Drugs and Narcotics; he also worked in the IRS and briefly in the Secret Service (or he "tried out" for the Secret Service and decided that it wasn't right for him...I'm not sure). He told me that their are many openings for someone after majoring in Criminal Justice, including the FBI, DoD, and Secret Service; local law enforcement as well as national.

While I don't know just what I will be doing in the near future, or just what the Lord will have me pursue, I know that His way is perfect, and as long as I follow His will, I will be taken care of.

What is Love?

2009-01-04T22:04:00.001-05:00

What is Love, according to the Bible? In other words, what is Biblical Love?

Love is a noun and a verb at the same time. It is a willful (of the will) action, yet an emotion also. A choice must be made to continue to love in order for Love to last, but the emotion of Love can come and go. Emotion is a part of Love, a valid part of Biblical Love, but it is not all of Love or even the main part. Biblical Love can be preceded by the emotion of love.

I took a selection of verses about Love that is by no means comprehensive; however, I believe that the following verses are sufficient.

Eccelesiastes 3:8 -
"a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace."

John 15:13 -
"Greater love has no one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends."

Phillipians 1:9-11 -
"And it is my prayer that you love may abound more and more, with knowledge and discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God."

I Corinthians 13:4-8a -
"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing,m but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends."

Love is shown to be an action in these verses. We choose to love. God commands us to love one another, not just our friends but our enemies too.

What are the aspects of Love?

There is a time to love, and there is a time that is not for loving. (Ecclesiastes)
Love is sacrificial. (John)
Love is shown by the lifestyle that I live. (I John)
Love needs to be (and become) knowledgeable and discerning. (Phillipians)
Love has many characteristics. (I Corinthians)

Love is:

Patient
Kind
Does not envy -- Is content
Does not boast -- Praises others and God for what they have done
Is not arrogant -- Is meek/humble
Is not rude -- Is polite
Is not insistent on always being right -- Admits when wrong and when others are right
Is not irritable -- Is easy to get along with
Is not resentful -- Is forgiving
Does not rejoice in wrongdoing -- Rejoices with truth
Bears all things
Believes all things
Hopes all things
Endures all things
Is never-ending

This is in no way a comprehensive study on what Love is, but this is what I have come up with in my studies over the past few months.

My first post of 2009

2009-01-02T20:58:00.000-05:00

I must say...New Year's Eve didn't go exactly as I had planned...but as always, God works out everything "for the good of those that love Him." Out of all the people that I invited, only two came to my party. A family that I had not thought of inviting was invited by my younger brother and they came as well. We all had fun playing "Imaginiff" until almost 2 o'clock. It was fun.

Before that, I had to work from 3 to 8, which I had not been planning on; I was planning on being in Avon at 7 for another party that my sister was at. Instead, I got off work at about 8:25, changed, and got to Avon by 9. The party was over at 10, and then I brought my sister home.

After the guests left my house, except for the one who spent the night, I went to bed feeling sick to my stomach and rather disappointed at life in general. I had a fun time with the guests who came, but it was definitaly not the party that I had envisioned. I woke up at around 3am, and spent the rest of the morning puking my guts out again. I was rather under the weather for the rest of the day, but woke up this morning just fine. As I was feeling fine, I got to go to the oral surgeon after all and get my wisdom teeth yanked out! Oh joy! That went better than I feared, and due to good old Vicaden I feel just fine. I'm planning on getting to sleep sometime tonight, and am looking forward to a party at a friends house tomorrow.

My next post will be more of a summary of the past year (more or less...less being the more "sensitive" details ;-) and my hopes for this new year (more or less...less being the same as before ;-).

Christmas is over...

2008-12-26T00:19:00.000-05:00

Well, Christmas is over. It was a long day...I didn't get to sleep last night until close to three a.m.; I was wrapping presents. I had so much fun watching my family open my gifts to them! I was very excited to receive an electric epee. It is an upgrade over the one that I received last year. I have a feeling that having two epees will greatly adjust my mental game while fencing. I will not be so tense or nervouse regarding my only sword breaking or becoming damaged.

My family and myself went to our relatives in New Castle. I must admit...I did have fun inflicting a sort of revenge on my cousins. In years past, whatever room the "younger set" gathers in is dominated by annoying music and video games. I took a wierd sort of pleasure in playing my classical guitar all evening...at least it kept the noise levels down.

It's way past time for me to go to bed, we have guests for dinner tomorrow - or I guess tonight - for dinner, so I need to get some sleep at least.

Christmas Eve contemplations...

2008-12-24T23:52:00.000-05:00

I'm feeling contemplative tonight...

I'm contemplating...
...a recent conversation with a friend.
...what my life needs to look like in order to accomplish certain goals.
...what my "lesser" goals need to be in order to accomplish my "greater" goals.
...the awesome gift that the Lord gave to me and all mankind: His Son, Jesus Christ.
...life, and how it is actually worth living if it is lived for Christ and follows God's will.

It's Christmas Eve, and my family and myself read the Christmas story (from Luke this year), and sang Christmas carols. (I had a random thought...my sisters both play harp, my brother plays piano, and I play both guitar and tin whistle. I could record my sisters playing harp, and myself playing tin whistle, and then get the necessary cables for our keyboard and my dad's guitar to connect them to a computer. My little brother could use the keyboard as a MIDI synthesiser, and I could play straight into the computer on the guitar. Between the four of us kids, we could have a quintet.) Now I'm sitting in my room, contemplating STUFF. In years past, I thought more about what I was getting rather than what I was giving. This year, however, I have a job. I have money from that job...or rather had money. I had a tremendous amount of fun shopping for my family. I have yet to even really wonder for more than a fleeting moment what I will be getting. That's a good thing...it shows that I have changed my mindset....

Anyway, I have to wrap those gifts now, and then probably get some sleep...or read some more of The Hunt for Red October by Tom Clancy. Good book, I will have to put up a "review" sometime.

Merry Christmas!

Time to rest for awhile...

2008-12-19T17:37:00.000-05:00

Well, my paper is done. Soon I will upload the final draft to Google Docs, and then the link above will link to the final paper.

It's been a long few weeks...but I'm much relieved. Amazing how much stress was associated with this paper...I didn't get to bed until 4:30AM, but I feel refreshed and alert, ready to take on the world. I've been listening to some sermons of Mark Driscoll's, I will probably be posting on those soon. I need to put up a Christmas post too.

I applied for Verity; just got my acceptance paperwork yesterday. I need to fill it out and send it back.

I am looking forward to a rest for awhile, I've been working hard and am ready for a break. I don't have any classes until after Christmas, so I am finally starting to feel "in the Christmas spirit."

Late night...or early morning is more like it...

2008-12-14T04:23:00.000-05:00

Figured I might as well post before I catch a nap before I head to church. I've been working hard on finishing back assignments for PHC; class ends on the 16th/19th (different due dates for final exam and final draft of my paper). Tonight I worked on the notes for my College & Career class at church. Myself and some of my friends took our sisters out for a brother/sister date night yesterday evening - which was just a few hours ago. We went to The Claddagh (an Irish pub with family dining as well), then to Butler for the Come Rejoice! concert. After the concert a unanimous decision was made to go downtown to The Chocolate Factory for drinks/dessert, and then pictures and just hanging out on the Circle. Caileigh and myself did not get home until after midnight; the shot of espresso that I added to my hot chocolate has been in my system for quite awhile, keeping me awake.

I'm almost positive that I will want to edit this post later, but who knows - or better yet, who really cares?

It's late...but it's done...for now...

2008-12-01T03:20:00.002-05:00

Well, I'm done with the rough draft of my research paper for PHC. I'm exhausted, so I'm not going to post much now, but I just wanted to point out that I put a link ~~on the top left, with the other links~~ in the title to my paper on Google Docs if anyone is interested. The topic is global warming...might be an interesting read. Who knows...

What people really mean...

2008-11-26T22:27:00.003-05:00

At work today I heard "have a good Thanksgiving" many, many, times while carrying out groceries. As I worked and observed, I noticed a common theme...never once did anybody mention being grateful, rather, most people just complained about "having to do Thanksgiving" and "cook for the relatives."

Eventually, I saw another theme: every person that talked about having "a good Thanksgiving" equated "good Thanksgiving" with "opportunity to stuff my face with good food that I didn't have to cook, and not feeling guilty about it."

How sad and pathetic."Opportunity to stuff my face"? What happened to being thankful for what God has given us? What happened to being thankful for living in this great nation, the United States of America?

Am I this way? I do not think so. Here are some things that I am thankful for:

My family - I don't always get along with them, but they keep me sharp in my faith. I don't always agree with them, but I love them, and they love me.
My friends - I don't make friends easily, but the ones I do have are true as steel. I know that they have my back, no matter what. I am very thankful for them.
My stuff - Yes, I am thankful for my stuff. God has blessed me with many things, I am thankful that He has.
My country - Even though I do not agree with all the political leaders, the USA is still, in my opinion, the best country in the world.
Soldiers in Iraq and elsewhere - They are the reason I can post and be free. They are the reason I can live without fear.

These are just some things. I think I have demonstrated my point - BE THANKFUL THIS THANKSGIVING. There are many things to be thankful for - perhaps you can post some things that you are thankful for in the comments.

Just Thinking...

2008-11-25T23:59:00.000-05:00

Just thinking...
Over all the mistakes I have made in the past, and the recurring nature of them.
About how my life has been following a pattern, and what that pattern looks like.
Of why I keep making the same mistakes.
About how to get out of the cycle.
And wondering if the patterns in my life are all bad, all good, or a mixture.
About how to break bad patterns in my life.

Why do I make the same mistakes? Over and over I see myself do something that I have done before with bad consequences. My action may not be sin, but it is not beneficial either. Just because I can do something doesn't mean that I should. Mark Driscoll has mentioned several times in his sermon series on the Song of Solomon (The Peasant Princess) three criteria that should be considered before doing something:

Is it lawful? Meaning, is it not just strictly legal, but does the Bible expressly say that it is a sin? Does the Bible imply that it is a sin? If the Bible either expressly or by intimation says that it is a sin, then don't do it.
Does it violate your conscience? Not just your conscience, but anyone else who is or would be involved?
Is it beneficial? Not just not harmful, but does it do you and other good?

If I start applying these to my everyday life, to all of my actions, then I think that I will be able to break the bad patterns that I have been following. I will need to replace them with beneficial habits and patterns.

Done with my musings for now. The next few days are gonna be crazy - I will post on that tomorrow!

Click this title...

2008-11-24T14:14:00.006-05:00

This is an email that was sent to me. I encourage you all to do this...it really is neat, and doesn't take much time at all.

"Something cool that Xerox is doing

If you go to this web site, www.LetsSayThanks.com, you can pick out a thank you card and Xerox will print it and it will be sent to a soldier that is currently serving in Iraq . You can't pick out who gets it, but it will go to some member of the armed services. How AMAZING it would be if we could get everyone we know to send one!!! This is a great site. Please send a card. It is FREE and it only takes a second.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if the soldiers received a bunch of these? Whether you are for or against the war, our guys and gals over there need to know we are behind them..."

I'm Back

2008-11-05T15:24:00.003-05:00

It's over. I'm home. I'm exhausted. I'm depressed. Over the next few days, I will post a digest of each day's events, backdating them to the correct day. For now I just want to say one thing: Last night the guys had one last debrief, after we knew who was our new president and after we knew that Sodrel lost. It was a quiet and somber time, but God gave me something to say then that I want to share now.

In Romans 8:28 we are told that all things work together for good, for those that love God. Jeremiah 29:11 tells us that God knows the plans that he has for us, and that those plans are good plans to prosper us and not to harm us, and to give us hope in the future and for the future. Taking these two verses together is really all that is keeping me from beating my head against the wall, or just sitting and crying my eyes out. I don't know how God is going to work what happened during the elections for good, but I know that He will, and I know that He is not just wandering aimlessly but has a plan. I have a hope in the future, because God gave it to me. He gives it to all who will take it from Him. I have claimed that promise.

When my mind has settled, and I have recovered somewhat from this past week, I will probably post some thoughts on why things went this way, thoughts about the week, and just stuff. Whatever the Lord wills.

Day 4

2008-11-03T23:56:00.002-05:00

The rest of the day went well. We finally got to eat, after waiting for what seemed like forever. It was a long day today, yelling my head off was probably a bad idea, my voice is gone. My throat hurts. Melissa was awesome, she treated several of us to Starbucks. Her dad brought mine back to the lodge as I don't stay at the house with the girls. We played some card games and a new game based on questions. Fun times. We had a good time of prayer.

November 3, 2008
Barnabas Lodge, Jeffersonville, IN

Today was the last big push. We traveled on a tour bus to several different locations. We waved signs, yelled our heads off, and did lit drops. We cheered for Sodrel at a rally, a press conference, and at a coffee shop rally. A lot of our time today was spent on the bus. I learned that the man with the iPod is truly the man in demand...Some funny things: while on the bus, I "treated" (or tortured) the back of the bus with my impersonations of Kelly Clarkson, Taylor Swift, Josh Turner, Toby Keith, and tobyMac. Fun times, good laughs. At the end of the day we played games at the Lodge. I learned a new game, "The Question Game." So much fun.

2008-11-03T17:20:00.002-05:00

Right now I'm sitting on the curb waiting to be picked up. We have done lit drops all day, and some sign waving and a press conference. It's been a long day, I'm ready to be done for the day. I remembered my ipod today for the bus, I forgot it yesterday. I will post again later.

Day 3

2008-11-02T23:03:00.004-05:00

Today was another long day, but more fun then yesterday. Did a lot of lit dropping and phone banking. I obtained multiple t-shirts, as I need to bring at least one or two back with me. The only way I am able to get shirts is to wear them, so they all smell of Axe. Had some weird people answer the doors, but over all the responses were mostly positive. I talked to the guys about focusing on the positives and not the negatives of the campaign.

November 2, 2008
Barnabas Lodge, Jeffersonville, IN

We went to Church this morning at Graceland Baptist, the church hosting us. It was a typical Baptist service, with the whole focus on the altar call at the end. We had a little free time and lunch, and then we got back to work. The afternoon was pretty normal - we did literature drops and then phone banking. When we got back to the lodge, we played some games. After that I led another debrief, just talking over what we had done that day, and in prayer.

Day 2

2008-11-02T00:53:00.002-04:00

Today was a long, hard day, but was very fun. Lit drops all day. My group- Mr and Mrs Steele, Kayla and Megan Steele, Drew, and myself. This is actually the first time that I have been with a parent chaperone on an SAT. Good, I guess, but not as much chances for having fun. The Steeles are fun, but not as much fun as Jeremey was last year. Anyway, today was lit drops, tomorrow is church and then whatever else we are needed for. Pray for ENERGY!

November 1, 2008
Barnabas Lodge, Jeffersonville, IN

Today started at around 7 am. Got up, showered, got ready for the day. We were taken to our different team locations on a tour bus and dropped off at our different points. My team was the last team on the list. We spent the morning knocking on doors and talking to people. We ate lunch at McDonalds (ugh) and got back to work. My team finished about two hours early and chillaxed at the pick up point until 6:30. We got picked up and, to shorten the story some, after a few delays and much embracing of chaos we got back to the Lodge. From there we went tot he Republican Campaign HQ in Jeffersonville to get dinner and for our evening debrief. Tomorrow we are going to church at the church that is hosting us: Graceland Baptist. We played some "Liar" aka "BS" and went back to the Lodge. We played "Spoons" (and forks and knives) and "Kemps" and the guys had our nightly debrief. Clayton led us tonight. He encouraged us to remember that while we may work hard, we need to pray even harder, because the outcome of this election is in God's hands. We eventually went to bed, but stayed up talking for hours. I am actually writing this on Sunday, as I fell asleep sometime last night before I wrote anything down. Until tomorrow's post...

2008-11-01T18:11:00.001-04:00

It's just a little boring right now on the campaign trail. I'm just sitting waiting to be picked up with the rest of my group. We finished two hours early...GenJ efficiency for you. Well, that's why I'm here. To work hard and fast. I'm spending my time right now thinking over what I want to share with the guys in debrief tonight. Unfortunately I don't have my Bible with me. I need to remember to bring it with me tomorrow.

Day 1

2008-10-31T22:19:00.003-04:00

Another change of plans: I'm going to post short posts every night in a digest, and then when I get home I'm going to post the full version that i am writing down.
That said, here goes.

Today started the SAT for Sodrel. Started working as soon as we got here, and am just now going to bed. Did the normal SAT stuff- phone banking, literature, sign waving. Had a debrief with the other guys, and now time to sleep. Tomorrow will be more interesting.

October 31, 2008
Barnabas Lodge, Jeffersonville, IN

Today was the start of the Student Action Team for Mike Sodrel. Arrived in Jeffersonville around 11:30 and got to work right away. Did the typical stuff - phone banking, folding literature, and sign waving. I led a debrief for the guys. We went over what we learned today, what we wanted to keep each other responsible in, and what we are going to do this week. We talked about what our attitudes need to be toward our fellow volunteers, the girls. I encouraged them to remember 1 Timothy 4:12 and to be leaders. It's been a long day, the first of many to come.

2008-10-31T10:30:00.002-04:00

I'm on my way now. I've had a great couple days leading up to today. I'm praying that God will give me grace for this next week on the campaign trail, for strength and endurance in the days ahead. I appreciate the prayers of you all.

Change in plans...

2008-10-30T20:09:00.001-04:00

Due to some changing plans, I will most likely not be able to post every night. I will post what I can, when I can, and will post from my cell phone still, but daily digests may not be up every day. I will definitely post for every day, but not necessarily on that day. Comments would be appreciated, any encouragement would be awesome.

What's coming up/Some thoughts on Driscoll's recent sermons

2008-10-29T12:59:00.002-04:00

I will be campaigning for Mike Sodrel for Congress starting on Friday. It will be a rough campaign against Baron Hill in District 7, around Jeffersonville. I intend to post daily a digest of the day, what God has shown me, what I have learned, prayer requests, etc. Lord willing that should be up before midnight every night. I will also try to post some pictures and short posts from my phone of interesting happenings or people.

Listening to Mark Driscoll's sermons on the Song of Solomon has been revealing. I am learning how I need to treat my future wife, while at the same time I am learning how to prepare myself for my future wife. Some randomish thoughts, not neccesarily in order of sermon:

My standard of beauty is my wife.

If I don't have a wife, then I can't have a standard of beauty. This extends to my wife before we are married - when I know who God wants me to marry, that is my standard of beauty for the rest of my life.
As my wife changes, my standard of beauty will change.

I must serve my wife.

While I am to be the leader of the home, I am to serve my wife. Serving my wife will include spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

Mark Driscoll: "See, it isn't French kissing at all. It's Biblical kissing." (On Song of Solomon 4:11)

2008-10-27T14:28:00.002-04:00

I now have unlimited texting, so I plan to post to my blog more often now. I've been listening to Mark Driscoll's sermons every week, they are available as a podcast on iTunes. He is going through the Song of Solomon right now. I will post some thoughts on that later.

Session Eight - John Piper (Is There Christian Eloquence? Clear Words and the Wonder of the Cross)

2008-10-02T23:04:00.000-04:00

(I Corinthians 1:17, 2:1)
(Colossians 3:17)

There is a way of speaking that takes away from the power of the Gospel.

Everybody can have an "eloquence problem," its not a matter of education or not.

Paul isn't rejecting eloquence, but the use of eloquence to exalt oneself above the power and glory of the cross.

Two-pronged criteria:
- All about being clever
- Failing to use language for Christ's glory?

How am I using my words?
- To make me look good, smart, or clever?
- Or to exalt Christ?

Reasons to use eloquence:

May keep people focused - help their weaknesses
May bring an adversary into agreement/respect
May stimulate emotional/physical sensitivity
May increase impact by memory
Can increase the power of words

Yes, there is Christian eloquence. Faith comes by hearing the Word. The Word is eloquent.

God will glorify Himself either through or despite my eloquence. He is sovereign. In my worst moments He can save a sinner.

Session Seven - Paul Tripp (War of Words: Getting to the Heart for God's Sake)

2008-10-02T23:00:00.000-04:00

Luke 6:43 - The Bible teaches to my heart. [My heart is my soul/spirit]

Rather than saying "I didn't mean that" say "Will you forgive me for saying what I meant?" After all, nobody says anything that wasn't in their heart to begin with.

My greatest communication problem is me.

Sin is fundamentally anti-social.

God has invested words with power - we are not to abuse it. My words can destroy a person. (Galatians 5:13)

Love -

"Willing self-sacrifice for the good of another that does not demand reciprocation or that the person being loved is deserving." - Paul Tripp

Session Six - Kauflin, Piper, Taylor, Tripp (Panel Discussion - Piper, Tripp, Kauflin, and Taylor

2008-10-02T22:57:00.000-04:00

Self-forgetfulness
- Forget myself, don't look for others praise. I can crucify my want for praise when it comes up - I must not gratify it.

Session Five - Daniel Taylor (The Life-Shaping Power of Story: God’s and Ours)

2008-10-02T22:46:00.000-04:00

"The single best way of conceiving of faith is through a story of which you are the main character." - Daniel Taylor

This is the best way because:

God created us as story-creatures
Stories make connections
Propositions (hypotheses) are the "shorthand" for the stories
Stories create communities
We are created for stories

our brains store stories best
made to be in a relationship - best way to communicate is through story

Each of us needs a "master story"
Stories are about choices and their consequences
Stories call us to action
Stories have the power to change us
Stories are strong and complex enough to contain pain, failure, and mystery
Stories are the foundation for meaning and significance

cityboy319

Light Follower

His Word Is Truth

Tumblr....

Love Heals

Life-Thoughts

Interesting. Because I say it is.

Thank God For Love

Imagine:

To My Friends

Why the heck. Why. The heck. Yeah.

Without Fear

A Couple Thoughts

Awesome God

Above All

Caroline

Lost inside...

To Live Is Christ -- To Die Is Gain

peace-flow

Glory Revealed

Deep Thoughts...Deep Prayer...Hard Battle

[Amani Salvadori]

Heart Cry

Freaked Out - Restored

Spirit to Spirit...

Randomishness Stuff

He is Risen!

It's been awhile...

Brief snippet of life...

Should be done now...

New look, new address...

stream flow

You spin me right round...

Having a few minutes...

I'm hungry and tired and stressed.

Just for fun...

*face palm*

Striving for Glory

An update on life...

World Religions and Wordle...a great combo...

Confucius say...

Over already?

2010 and counting...

Number 4...and I'm done :)

Round Three...

And the second follows the first...

The first, at the least...

A Day of Rest

Just another update...

Disappearing from Facebook...and why.

An answer to prayer.

More thoughts on yesterday :)

More to come...

What's on my mind...

It's up...

Gonna start a pic blog...

Psalms 20:4

Am I good? It doesn't matter, God is better!

Just a thought this morning...

For what it's worth...

Prayer and the Power to do God's Will

C&C Retreat '09 - Guy's Session - Brent Aucoin

Session One from the C&C Retreat '09 - Brent Aucoin

An Update...

Just messing around...

Just some random thoughts...comments...whatever.

Notes and Thoughts - GMAA Session 4

Notes and Thoughts - GMAA Elective 1

Notes and Thoughts - GMAA Session 3

Notes and Thoughts - GMAA Session 2

Notes and Thoughts - GMAA Session 1

Heading out soon...

If that is what it takes, God...then so be it.

New video...Win7 or KDE4?

Couldn't resist...

Life ahead...

What is Love?

My first post of 2009

Christmas is over...

Christmas Eve contemplations...

face palm